I feel conflicted. Talking to you has always helped make things clearer, so hopefully that holds true now.
This time, I had sex with Gokudera.
It wasn't really something under his control. He's been trying to take on his younger self's debt from Rachel, and she had him go tend to her rosebushes. That's what he's been doing for the past few days. However... it seems that something about it acts as an aphrodisiac. He's been trying to keep it a secret from me, but last night I waited for him at his room and he came over there obviously affected.
I didn't want to just leave him on his own to have to deal with that with no help... So...
My feelings are so mixed right now, Kyoko. In the beginning, when he had first told me to find someone I trusted and was comfortable with to have sex with, my first thought of course had been of with him. He's so important to me, he's done so much and will continue to do so, isn't he the obvious choice? I hadn't wanted to burden him with it.
(I told him all of this, too.)
I'm not happy that this happened because of the Maeve's witchcraft, I wish we could have had it happen in some other way, but... On some level, I think I enjoyed it. He was so sweet, Kyoko, even overtaken like that as he was. You could see him fighting it every step of the way until I pushed, and even then... He could have overtaken me, or demanded more, but the first thing he seemed to do was just kiss me. I was straddling him, forcing his hands to stay in place, and he still just wanted to kiss me when I asked.
...Also I really liked hearing him beg and having him tied up to the headboard.
For all that's happening, I guess at least I'm learning a lot about myself....
Mi mancano i tuoi occhi, luce mia.
Doing well,
Tsuna
P.S. Also I got another strange letter today. I left a reply, but I remain unsure if I'll get a response from someone like that.
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5/27
I feel conflicted. Talking to you has always helped make things clearer, so hopefully that holds true now.
This time, I had sex with Gokudera.
It wasn't really something under his control. He's been trying to take on his younger self's debt from Rachel, and she had him go tend to her rosebushes. That's what he's been doing for the past few days. However... it seems that something about it acts as an aphrodisiac. He's been trying to keep it a secret from me, but last night I waited for him at his room and he came over there obviously affected.
I didn't want to just leave him on his own to have to deal with that with no help... So...
My feelings are so mixed right now, Kyoko. In the beginning, when he had first told me to find someone I trusted and was comfortable with to have sex with, my first thought of course had been of with him. He's so important to me, he's done so much and will continue to do so, isn't he the obvious choice? I hadn't wanted to burden him with it.
(I told him all of this, too.)
I'm not happy that this happened because of the Maeve's witchcraft, I wish we could have had it happen in some other way, but... On some level, I think I enjoyed it. He was so sweet, Kyoko, even overtaken like that as he was. You could see him fighting it every step of the way until I pushed, and even then... He could have overtaken me, or demanded more, but the first thing he seemed to do was just kiss me. I was straddling him, forcing his hands to stay in place, and he still just wanted to kiss me when I asked.
...Also I really liked hearing him beg and having him tied up to the headboard.
For all that's happening, I guess at least I'm learning a lot about myself....
Mi mancano i tuoi occhi, luce mia.
Doing well,
Tsuna
P.S. Also I got another strange letter today. I left a reply, but I remain unsure if I'll get a response from someone like that.