It's strange. I was just prepared to do something that I very well might not have walked away from... But now I've suddenly been pulled into some place entirely different as though the entire game has been reset. So much has happened that I almost don't know what to do.
I miss you so much I can't stand it, even though I know that must seem rather selfish of me. You don't belong in a place like this.
With everything that's gone on, maybe writing down my thoughts will help me a little bit, and perhaps writing to you will help soothe my own heartache.
The Maeve are a group of powerful people. The more I hear about them, the more I can't help but dislike them. People's lives aren't toys to be played with, yet you can tell they don't seem to care. It's frustrating, but I know I just have to be patient before anything can be done. I wish I knew more about their power. That could change everything back home, couldn't it?
At least I'm not alone here. There's so much of my family who've been in this place at least a good few months longer than I have. While I'd rather none of us be here at all, it's better for us to work together. I've spoken with both Gokudera and Dino, who've explained we could very well all be from different parallel universes. It seems there's been some difficulties while I've not been here...
As of the time I'm writing this, the people here from our own family are Gokudera, Yamamoto, and Mukuro. Dino is here as well, on his own. There's also members of the Varia here, with Xanxus and of course Squalo.
Hibari is here as well.... Yet I'm worried. Be thankful that you didn't see the face he made when we first ran into one another, Kyoko. I hope I never see him making that kind of look again... It was too full of pain. Dino's told me that I can't let myself get caught up on if I failed him, and instead can only look to the present. It's good advice; I'm glad I was able to meet him thanks to Reborn all those years ago. Whatever has happened to Hibari, I can only deal with it as it is.
However... I will only be able to do this as a friend, now, instead of his "sky". He's joined the Varia in the time he's been here. However Xanxus and I may not agree on a lot of things, I know this isn't something he would have let happen without careful though and I think better of Hibari than to believe he would do something like this recklessly. This isn't a fight, after all. Yet I feel a kind of loss... It's different from him not being around, like Ryohei, Lambo, and Chrome are. I can't believe I didn't realize how vital he'd become to my life until this moment... I suppose I took him for granted that way.
All I can do right now is wish him well, and hope he and Xanxus get on.
As if to add on worries, there's a younger version of Gokudera and me here! I thought two versions of the same person couldn't exist at the same time.... Aaaaah I can't understand any of it still! I guess I don't have to understand that sort of thing. I can understand well enough that those versions of us don't belong here at all! They're the Gokudera and Tsunayoshi of ten years ago! To get involved in this sort of horrible thing at that age...
I want to protect both of them so badly! (How will this affect me!?) Yet from what I've heard of the Maeves' reputation, it doesn't seem like things will be that easy. Besides, if Gokudera's like how I remember, he probably wouldn't want to trouble me with that sort of thing... Perhaps Gokudera (the adult) will have a better idea of what to do. But what about my younger self? Ah, what am I going to do, Kyoko?
I suppose, at the end of the day, the best I can do is do my best and keep them together as the Vongola (plus Dino). Dino has offered to help me whenever I need it, which I'm grateful for. The big brothers I have are truly some of my most precious people.
It's getting late now. Even stranger things have happened today (I'm sorry but people I never met before kissed me on the mouth! It seems things like this can happen unexpectedly due to the Maeve) but I can write more about them later, especially the strange items I found in Easter eggs that were set about the grounds. I have a feeling my stay here is only going to get stranger....
I'll think of you as I go to sleep, Kyoko, and I think I'll be really lucky if I can see you in just my dreams tonight.
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4/20
It's strange. I was just prepared to do something that I very well might not have walked away from... But now I've suddenly been pulled into some place entirely different as though the entire game has been reset. So much has happened that I almost don't know what to do.
I miss you so much I can't stand it, even though I know that must seem rather selfish of me. You don't belong in a place like this.
With everything that's gone on, maybe writing down my thoughts will help me a little bit, and perhaps writing to you will help soothe my own heartache.
The Maeve are a group of powerful people. The more I hear about them, the more I can't help but dislike them. People's lives aren't toys to be played with, yet you can tell they don't seem to care. It's frustrating, but I know I just have to be patient before anything can be done. I wish I knew more about their power. That could change everything back home, couldn't it?
At least I'm not alone here. There's so much of my family who've been in this place at least a good few months longer than I have. While I'd rather none of us be here at all, it's better for us to work together. I've spoken with both Gokudera and Dino, who've explained we could very well all be from different parallel universes. It seems there's been some difficulties while I've not been here...
As of the time I'm writing this, the people here from our own family are Gokudera, Yamamoto, and Mukuro. Dino is here as well, on his own. There's also members of the Varia here, with Xanxus and of course Squalo.
Hibari is here as well.... Yet I'm worried. Be thankful that you didn't see the face he made when we first ran into one another, Kyoko. I hope I never see him making that kind of look again... It was too full of pain. Dino's told me that I can't let myself get caught up on if I failed him, and instead can only look to the present. It's good advice; I'm glad I was able to meet him thanks to Reborn all those years ago. Whatever has happened to Hibari, I can only deal with it as it is.
However... I will only be able to do this as a friend, now, instead of his "sky". He's joined the Varia in the time he's been here. However Xanxus and I may not agree on a lot of things, I know this isn't something he would have let happen without careful though and I think better of Hibari than to believe he would do something like this recklessly. This isn't a fight, after all. Yet I feel a kind of loss... It's different from him not being around, like Ryohei, Lambo, and Chrome are. I can't believe I didn't realize how vital he'd become to my life until this moment... I suppose I took him for granted that way.
All I can do right now is wish him well, and hope he and Xanxus get on.
As if to add on worries, there's a younger version of Gokudera and me here! I thought two versions of the same person couldn't exist at the same time.... Aaaaah I can't understand any of it still! I guess I don't have to understand that sort of thing. I can understand well enough that those versions of us don't belong here at all! They're the Gokudera and Tsunayoshi of ten years ago! To get involved in this sort of horrible thing at that age...
I want to protect both of them so badly! (How will this affect me!?) Yet from what I've heard of the Maeves' reputation, it doesn't seem like things will be that easy. Besides, if Gokudera's like how I remember, he probably wouldn't want to trouble me with that sort of thing... Perhaps Gokudera (the adult) will have a better idea of what to do. But what about my younger self? Ah, what am I going to do, Kyoko?
I suppose, at the end of the day, the best I can do is do my best and keep them together as the Vongola (plus Dino). Dino has offered to help me whenever I need it, which I'm grateful for. The big brothers I have are truly some of my most precious people.
It's getting late now. Even stranger things have happened today (I'm sorry but people I never met before kissed me on the mouth! It seems things like this can happen unexpectedly due to the Maeve) but I can write more about them later, especially the strange items I found in Easter eggs that were set about the grounds. I have a feeling my stay here is only going to get stranger....
I'll think of you as I go to sleep, Kyoko, and I think I'll be really lucky if I can see you in just my dreams tonight.
Ti amero' per tutta la mia vita.
Sincerely with all the love I can give,
Tsuna