Entry tags:
Day 2 - Renewal
Bluebell has a new life, and, sometimes, she has to wonder what that all means in the first place.
In practical terms, she knows exactly what it all means. She knows that she longer has to languish away underneath medical debt which no one else will claim or ever help her deal with. She knows that she will now have to keep a wary eye out for cops and anyone else involved in law enforcement. She knows that because of something inside of her, she will help with a great many things, and a whole lot of them may be questionable in their legality.
None of that really bothers her too much, really. Especially the bit about legality.
It was perfectly legal for her own family to abandon her a long time ago, and for a great many predators to leap on a child, drag her down into a financial abyss. So who really cares about legality? Who cares about what cops think? That's all nothing new. If anything, Bluebell thinks she's rather happy, rebelling against the idea of this so-called legality, its justice.
It's just... none of that really solves everything else.
Bluebell has a new life, and a new name.
What does that mean?
Sometimes, she wonders if she has regained even a second chance at life, or something like that. Because of how this is a "changed time" or... whatever. Of course, that's just wondering about things that don't really matter. All that it's really changed, she suspects, is where she now spends a majority of her time.
And where she spends her time, as a member of the Giglio Nero Famiglia, is over in Italy, and in the little manor that its tiny Donna claims for her own.
...Okay, so to be more exact, she spends her time in a tiny little private classroom, being tutored incessantly alongside a couple other young members of the Family who don't dare send their children to a more public school just in case another Family gets it into their head to target them, given an even more annoying obstacle in the fact that she has to learn Italian alongside everything else.
"But I hate it so much," she grumbles, even if it's really only to herself as she tries to find purchase against unforgiving bark with soft hands and shoes that really weren't made for it. "Ugh, just because I seemed to catch onto Japanese really quickly, they seem to think that it's all going to go the same with a whole third new language! I hate being in that stuffy room all the time, and there's nothing new in this tiny manor, and everyone else gets to wander off and do whatever they want all the time!"
By the time she finishes all her complaining, she finally makes it to a nice sturdy branch up high on the tree, and Bluebell huffs, back smacking against the trunk. It feels as though it rattles her spine a little bit, stings at the skin beneath her shirt... but Bluebell doesn't mind it at all. If anything...
There's a little thrill in her chest that she can do even this much, and it doesn't set her back by months.
The sensation doesn't last very long. She hasn't even had a chance to close her eyes before a voice rises up from down beneath her. "I knew that you hated it since you've been running away from every single lesson the second that you get a chance to do so... but I didn't know that you hated them so much that you'd talk to yourself about it, too, when it's just you on your own."
The sensation doesn't last very long. She hasn't even had a chance to close her eyes before a voice rises up from down beneath her. "I knew that you hated it since you've been running away from every single lesson the second that you get a chance to do so... but I didn't know that you hated them so much that you'd talk to yourself about it, too, when it's just you on your own."
With what she's managed to pick up from being around the original Giglio Nero members, and from listening to Byakuran's seemingly careless comments... Apparently this Yuni shouldn't be here just yet? But the previous Donna made some sort of deal, or did something really strange but special, and, well, now this is just one very strange timeline.
A lot of it - most of it - goes over Bluebell's head, if she's honest. And, equally honestly, she's pretty sure that none of it really matters to her anyway.
All she needs to know are two things: the first being that Byakuran has decided to give all his power over to the Donna, and the second being that she is just way too strange and hard for Bluebell to understand.
"If you know I hate it so much, then I don't get why it's sooooooooo strange for me to talk about how much I hate it, whether it's just me or not," she grumbles, cheek smushing up against one knee as she looks down at her. It's not the most comfortable position in the world, no, but she's faced far worse. What's the point in complaining about this when she thinks it displays her feelings the best? "And why don't you have to take all these lesson too? I know we're around the same age, so you should be in school a lot too."
At least, Bluebell is... pretty sure they're the same age? It's actually kind of hard to tell, when it comes to Yuni. She has the soft baby cheeks of someone who hasn't fully grown up yet, just like Bluebell does, and she seems really short, which is also just like Bluebell. At the same time, well...
At least, Bluebell is... pretty sure they're the same age? It's actually kind of hard to tell, when it comes to Yuni. She has the soft baby cheeks of someone who hasn't fully grown up yet, just like Bluebell does, and she seems really short, which is also just like Bluebell. At the same time, well...
They're close in age, Bluebell is positive of it...
But Yuni makes her feel so stupid.
It's doubly frustrating because obviously Yuni isn't trying to do that, when she does stuff like she does now, where she's just smiling in a way that's mingled sympathy and apology. "Well, because of the Family's position in the entire underworld, it would be a little difficult if I went to the mafia school with everyone else... We can't risk it. I have a few classes, but, well... They're not exactly the same as yours."
Bluebell wonders if that means they're more boring or less. "And here I thought you were going to say you learned everything already," she grumbles, words just a little mushed because of where her cheek rests. "What are you even learning, anyway?"
"Mmm... Politics, I guess?" Yuni laughs a little bit, maybe at the look that crosses Bluebell's face just hearing that answer. "I have some of my subordinates who keep an eye on that sort of thing for me, but, I mean... I think it's better to have at least a little bit of that knowledge myself, right?" She presses the points of her fingers together from one hand to the next, delicate as her name sounds. "I mean... I didn't get a chance to decide if I ever wanted to do that myself, before, so, I wanted to try and do it this time."
Huh. Something about the way she says that... Bluebell wraps her arms arountd her legs, and shoves the thought to the side. She's not really that great at multitasking, honestly. She can either talk, or she can think. "Is it really all that interesting?" she asks. "It just seems like it would be boring."
When she's groaned about things being boring in class before, she's gotten some dirty looks for it, and some have even tried to scold her about the point of view. Well, they can scold all they like. It doesn't change Bluebell's mind on it being so mindnumbingly boring. Yuni doesn't seem so stiff, so it's not like Bluebell thinks she'll scold her... Yet she doesn't expect the way she suddenly laughs.
Hand going up to her mouth so daintily - like she's some sort of porcelain doll instead of a real human - Yuni glances around one way and then the other before looking back up to Bluebell. "Sometimes it still feels that way," she admits, hand cupped around her mouth as though she's closer than she is and sharing a secret. "Especially when it's about foreign country politics, and it feels like I have to learn a million other things before I can hear about the thing I'm actually interested in. But, I can't hate it entirely. When I finally start making connections on my own... I get really happy, I guess. It feels as though everything was worth it, just for me to start recognizing things on my own."
Somehow, that sounds like a really grown up answer, which just annoys Bluebell all the more. It would be better if she was like that, wouldn't it? If she found it rewarding to do something really cool and smart and mature after all the hard work.
But she doesn't know how to just make herself an adult like that. She doesn't know what switch that she needs to flip in her mind to become one. Should it have gone off when that other future was fixed?
If that switch was flipped, would she have a better idea of what a new life should entail?
"I don't get it!" she announces loudly, jerking her head away. It hurts just a little, with the way her long hair catches on some of the tree, but she doesn't care. Honestly, the sting of the pull fits the mood far better than anything else. "All that work just to do a really boring and average thing. There's no fun in that!"
It's just studying, and reading, and listening, the same monotone that makes it seem as though the sunlight outside even feels a little heavier, and the energy inside her just churns and churns and churns.
Maybe it's not just her body that got broken, all the way back when she first got sick. Whatever made her broken enough that she can't become an adult like all the other teenagers around her seem to become, and that didn't make the alleged Flame of Tranquility live up to its namesake inside of her body.
Ugh. The more she starts thinking about it, the more angry she gets, until she can't help it. Once again, there's too much energy inside of her, yelling at her, and she swings her legs to the side, palms bracing against wood. If nothing else, she can take some glee in how she can leap down without any exertion now, hit the ground with just a faint ache that comes with impact rather than anything that has her buckle and hit the floor. No longer are the days where she struggled to hold herself upright even when gripping a railing using all of her strength.
It's a reminder that only soothes her a little bit, however. Not nearly enough. "Everything here is so boring!" she yells, and stomps her foot again, just to feel it. "It's boring, and stifling, and I don't know what to do!"
Every time she's started to yell like that, she's been yelled at in return - sometimes by a couple of the guys who were Funeral Wreathes in another universe alongside her, but usually by some of the older Giglio Nero mafiosi who would rather she just be more like their precious Donna, or not make trouble for her, or anything else.
Yuni doesn't yell. Her hands just hold on tight to one another, right there in front of her dress, and she asks, "well, what's fun, then?"
It's such a - weird answer that it actually manages to knock all the anger right out of her, and Bluebell just stares for a second, feeling as though her thoughts are leaking straight out of her ears. "I mean," she says, and then stops, because she's never had to explain this before. It's just something that everyone knows, right? Bluebell tries again. "It's the kind of thing you hear people at school talk about, or that you see happen on television shows, stuff like that."
Of course, even as she talks, Bluebell realizes that at least one of her examples probably won't fit. Since when does Yuni do things like go to school, like Bluebell used to before it all went bad?
...Well. If she's doing it in service to help the donna, then it's probably fine if she does something like this, right? So Bluebell steps forward, taking Yuni's hand in hers."Let's take one of the cars and go out into town!" she exclaims, even as she starts to tug Yuni along in the direction of the garages. From what she's heard, the Cavallone are way more car crazy, but even a little Family like this should have some fancy and bulletproof cars to their name! "That's a way better way to learn anything anyway, right? We're just all stuck here when there's no need to be, so let's go!"
She's half expecting for that hand to slip out of hers, or to be yanked back, or any number of ways that come with refusal. But instead, the weight at her side becomes light, follows the footsteps running alongside hers, and Yuni's face is flushed when she looks over to her. "Okay!" she exclaims, breathless. "Then let's go!"
It's funny. Bluebell had been so frustrated, only moments ago, but... Somehow, this has her grinning, now. As though this day hadn't been on a fast track to being miserable and frustrating. "Right!" She pulls her along harder. "And I still have the Rain Ring - if anything happens, then I'll take care of it just like that!" Even if no one likes it, it's just a fact that the Rain Mare Ring chose her out of everyone in the entire world, even here, so her flames can't be beat! When she thinks of things like that... Even if she's not sure about anything else, Bluebell feels some sort of relief.
Yuni laughs, and her hand squeezes down tight around her own. "My best bodyguard!" she exclaims, and Bluebell isn't sure if that's what she really wants to do, if that's the life she is choosing for herself...
But the idea of even just playing pretend (until it doesn't become that) and laughing so carefreely is nice enough that she can't really bring herself to care too hard. All she can care about is pulling Yuni along, and using her Flames to help her steal some car keys, and get caught after the two of them spent fifteen minutes trying to adjust a car seat so that Bluebell's feet could reach the pedals.
What does a new life mean? Bluebell doesn't feel like she's the type of smart philosophical type to give an answer so neatly.
But she thinks it's definitely not the kind of thing that can be found in visions, or in a classroom, or yelling at anyone.
Philosophy is dumb, she thinks later on, and decides to go find Yuni to hold her hand again.
In practical terms, she knows exactly what it all means. She knows that she longer has to languish away underneath medical debt which no one else will claim or ever help her deal with. She knows that she will now have to keep a wary eye out for cops and anyone else involved in law enforcement. She knows that because of something inside of her, she will help with a great many things, and a whole lot of them may be questionable in their legality.
None of that really bothers her too much, really. Especially the bit about legality.
It was perfectly legal for her own family to abandon her a long time ago, and for a great many predators to leap on a child, drag her down into a financial abyss. So who really cares about legality? Who cares about what cops think? That's all nothing new. If anything, Bluebell thinks she's rather happy, rebelling against the idea of this so-called legality, its justice.
It's just... none of that really solves everything else.
Bluebell has a new life, and a new name.
What does that mean?
Sometimes, she wonders if she has regained even a second chance at life, or something like that. Because of how this is a "changed time" or... whatever. Of course, that's just wondering about things that don't really matter. All that it's really changed, she suspects, is where she now spends a majority of her time.
And where she spends her time, as a member of the Giglio Nero Famiglia, is over in Italy, and in the little manor that its tiny Donna claims for her own.
...Okay, so to be more exact, she spends her time in a tiny little private classroom, being tutored incessantly alongside a couple other young members of the Family who don't dare send their children to a more public school just in case another Family gets it into their head to target them, given an even more annoying obstacle in the fact that she has to learn Italian alongside everything else.
"But I hate it so much," she grumbles, even if it's really only to herself as she tries to find purchase against unforgiving bark with soft hands and shoes that really weren't made for it. "Ugh, just because I seemed to catch onto Japanese really quickly, they seem to think that it's all going to go the same with a whole third new language! I hate being in that stuffy room all the time, and there's nothing new in this tiny manor, and everyone else gets to wander off and do whatever they want all the time!"
By the time she finishes all her complaining, she finally makes it to a nice sturdy branch up high on the tree, and Bluebell huffs, back smacking against the trunk. It feels as though it rattles her spine a little bit, stings at the skin beneath her shirt... but Bluebell doesn't mind it at all. If anything...
There's a little thrill in her chest that she can do even this much, and it doesn't set her back by months.
The sensation doesn't last very long. She hasn't even had a chance to close her eyes before a voice rises up from down beneath her. "I knew that you hated it since you've been running away from every single lesson the second that you get a chance to do so... but I didn't know that you hated them so much that you'd talk to yourself about it, too, when it's just you on your own."
The sensation doesn't last very long. She hasn't even had a chance to close her eyes before a voice rises up from down beneath her. "I knew that you hated it since you've been running away from every single lesson the second that you get a chance to do so... but I didn't know that you hated them so much that you'd talk to yourself about it, too, when it's just you on your own."
With what she's managed to pick up from being around the original Giglio Nero members, and from listening to Byakuran's seemingly careless comments... Apparently this Yuni shouldn't be here just yet? But the previous Donna made some sort of deal, or did something really strange but special, and, well, now this is just one very strange timeline.
A lot of it - most of it - goes over Bluebell's head, if she's honest. And, equally honestly, she's pretty sure that none of it really matters to her anyway.
All she needs to know are two things: the first being that Byakuran has decided to give all his power over to the Donna, and the second being that she is just way too strange and hard for Bluebell to understand.
"If you know I hate it so much, then I don't get why it's sooooooooo strange for me to talk about how much I hate it, whether it's just me or not," she grumbles, cheek smushing up against one knee as she looks down at her. It's not the most comfortable position in the world, no, but she's faced far worse. What's the point in complaining about this when she thinks it displays her feelings the best? "And why don't you have to take all these lesson too? I know we're around the same age, so you should be in school a lot too."
At least, Bluebell is... pretty sure they're the same age? It's actually kind of hard to tell, when it comes to Yuni. She has the soft baby cheeks of someone who hasn't fully grown up yet, just like Bluebell does, and she seems really short, which is also just like Bluebell. At the same time, well...
At least, Bluebell is... pretty sure they're the same age? It's actually kind of hard to tell, when it comes to Yuni. She has the soft baby cheeks of someone who hasn't fully grown up yet, just like Bluebell does, and she seems really short, which is also just like Bluebell. At the same time, well...
They're close in age, Bluebell is positive of it...
But Yuni makes her feel so stupid.
It's doubly frustrating because obviously Yuni isn't trying to do that, when she does stuff like she does now, where she's just smiling in a way that's mingled sympathy and apology. "Well, because of the Family's position in the entire underworld, it would be a little difficult if I went to the mafia school with everyone else... We can't risk it. I have a few classes, but, well... They're not exactly the same as yours."
Bluebell wonders if that means they're more boring or less. "And here I thought you were going to say you learned everything already," she grumbles, words just a little mushed because of where her cheek rests. "What are you even learning, anyway?"
"Mmm... Politics, I guess?" Yuni laughs a little bit, maybe at the look that crosses Bluebell's face just hearing that answer. "I have some of my subordinates who keep an eye on that sort of thing for me, but, I mean... I think it's better to have at least a little bit of that knowledge myself, right?" She presses the points of her fingers together from one hand to the next, delicate as her name sounds. "I mean... I didn't get a chance to decide if I ever wanted to do that myself, before, so, I wanted to try and do it this time."
Huh. Something about the way she says that... Bluebell wraps her arms arountd her legs, and shoves the thought to the side. She's not really that great at multitasking, honestly. She can either talk, or she can think. "Is it really all that interesting?" she asks. "It just seems like it would be boring."
When she's groaned about things being boring in class before, she's gotten some dirty looks for it, and some have even tried to scold her about the point of view. Well, they can scold all they like. It doesn't change Bluebell's mind on it being so mindnumbingly boring. Yuni doesn't seem so stiff, so it's not like Bluebell thinks she'll scold her... Yet she doesn't expect the way she suddenly laughs.
Hand going up to her mouth so daintily - like she's some sort of porcelain doll instead of a real human - Yuni glances around one way and then the other before looking back up to Bluebell. "Sometimes it still feels that way," she admits, hand cupped around her mouth as though she's closer than she is and sharing a secret. "Especially when it's about foreign country politics, and it feels like I have to learn a million other things before I can hear about the thing I'm actually interested in. But, I can't hate it entirely. When I finally start making connections on my own... I get really happy, I guess. It feels as though everything was worth it, just for me to start recognizing things on my own."
Somehow, that sounds like a really grown up answer, which just annoys Bluebell all the more. It would be better if she was like that, wouldn't it? If she found it rewarding to do something really cool and smart and mature after all the hard work.
But she doesn't know how to just make herself an adult like that. She doesn't know what switch that she needs to flip in her mind to become one. Should it have gone off when that other future was fixed?
If that switch was flipped, would she have a better idea of what a new life should entail?
"I don't get it!" she announces loudly, jerking her head away. It hurts just a little, with the way her long hair catches on some of the tree, but she doesn't care. Honestly, the sting of the pull fits the mood far better than anything else. "All that work just to do a really boring and average thing. There's no fun in that!"
It's just studying, and reading, and listening, the same monotone that makes it seem as though the sunlight outside even feels a little heavier, and the energy inside her just churns and churns and churns.
Maybe it's not just her body that got broken, all the way back when she first got sick. Whatever made her broken enough that she can't become an adult like all the other teenagers around her seem to become, and that didn't make the alleged Flame of Tranquility live up to its namesake inside of her body.
Ugh. The more she starts thinking about it, the more angry she gets, until she can't help it. Once again, there's too much energy inside of her, yelling at her, and she swings her legs to the side, palms bracing against wood. If nothing else, she can take some glee in how she can leap down without any exertion now, hit the ground with just a faint ache that comes with impact rather than anything that has her buckle and hit the floor. No longer are the days where she struggled to hold herself upright even when gripping a railing using all of her strength.
It's a reminder that only soothes her a little bit, however. Not nearly enough. "Everything here is so boring!" she yells, and stomps her foot again, just to feel it. "It's boring, and stifling, and I don't know what to do!"
Every time she's started to yell like that, she's been yelled at in return - sometimes by a couple of the guys who were Funeral Wreathes in another universe alongside her, but usually by some of the older Giglio Nero mafiosi who would rather she just be more like their precious Donna, or not make trouble for her, or anything else.
Yuni doesn't yell. Her hands just hold on tight to one another, right there in front of her dress, and she asks, "well, what's fun, then?"
It's such a - weird answer that it actually manages to knock all the anger right out of her, and Bluebell just stares for a second, feeling as though her thoughts are leaking straight out of her ears. "I mean," she says, and then stops, because she's never had to explain this before. It's just something that everyone knows, right? Bluebell tries again. "It's the kind of thing you hear people at school talk about, or that you see happen on television shows, stuff like that."
Of course, even as she talks, Bluebell realizes that at least one of her examples probably won't fit. Since when does Yuni do things like go to school, like Bluebell used to before it all went bad?
...Well. If she's doing it in service to help the donna, then it's probably fine if she does something like this, right? So Bluebell steps forward, taking Yuni's hand in hers."Let's take one of the cars and go out into town!" she exclaims, even as she starts to tug Yuni along in the direction of the garages. From what she's heard, the Cavallone are way more car crazy, but even a little Family like this should have some fancy and bulletproof cars to their name! "That's a way better way to learn anything anyway, right? We're just all stuck here when there's no need to be, so let's go!"
She's half expecting for that hand to slip out of hers, or to be yanked back, or any number of ways that come with refusal. But instead, the weight at her side becomes light, follows the footsteps running alongside hers, and Yuni's face is flushed when she looks over to her. "Okay!" she exclaims, breathless. "Then let's go!"
It's funny. Bluebell had been so frustrated, only moments ago, but... Somehow, this has her grinning, now. As though this day hadn't been on a fast track to being miserable and frustrating. "Right!" She pulls her along harder. "And I still have the Rain Ring - if anything happens, then I'll take care of it just like that!" Even if no one likes it, it's just a fact that the Rain Mare Ring chose her out of everyone in the entire world, even here, so her flames can't be beat! When she thinks of things like that... Even if she's not sure about anything else, Bluebell feels some sort of relief.
Yuni laughs, and her hand squeezes down tight around her own. "My best bodyguard!" she exclaims, and Bluebell isn't sure if that's what she really wants to do, if that's the life she is choosing for herself...
But the idea of even just playing pretend (until it doesn't become that) and laughing so carefreely is nice enough that she can't really bring herself to care too hard. All she can care about is pulling Yuni along, and using her Flames to help her steal some car keys, and get caught after the two of them spent fifteen minutes trying to adjust a car seat so that Bluebell's feet could reach the pedals.
What does a new life mean? Bluebell doesn't feel like she's the type of smart philosophical type to give an answer so neatly.
But she thinks it's definitely not the kind of thing that can be found in visions, or in a classroom, or yelling at anyone.
Philosophy is dumb, she thinks later on, and decides to go find Yuni to hold her hand again.
