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FFVII Rarepair - Mask
"Honestly, what on earth..."
"Something wrong, Director?"
"We just received multiple boxes that were addressed to a Secretary Angela R., but it must have been sent to the wrong department. I haven't hired or transferred a new secretary by that name. The problem is going to be tracking her down in a corporation as large as ShinRa..."
"Oh, those would be mine, then."
Lazard can only stare for a moment at First Class Angeal Hewley, who's now started to investigate the boxes with something of a renewed interest. Did he somehow mishear? Or perhaps the names on the boxes were misspelled? Yet there are multiple boxes, from multiple places. That is a bit of a stretch. In the end, all he can manage is a flat and bewildered, "What."
It seems to finally occur to Angeal that perhaps he ought explain, and he looks back to him. "Right, I wasn't able to ask you about it since I just got back from the frontline for a while, with all the surprise paperwork that got dumped on me... but I was hoping that you would let me use no small amount of office supplies, Director Lazard. I thought with how much that ShinRa goes through anyway, it isn't as though they would notice some staples and a lot of printer paper."
This is most certainly going to be a day. Lazard rather suspected it would, just when he saw the sheer number of boxes, but he's realizing now that he underestimated just how much of A Day it was going to be.
Most people seem to find that Genesis is the worst troublemaker out of the trio that have made First Class a true aspiration. That's easy to see why, and Lazard would never deny that particular claim. Genesis has a lot of passion in him, for better or worse, and a deepseated distaste for most authority that has actually made getting him to listen to orders an occasional struggle (and Lazard feels mingled pride and guilt that the redhead respects him enough to listen to his).
But that is the problem, you see. People are so distracted by Genesis's more flashy displays of troublemaking that they're often completely blindsided by the sort of nonsense Angeal gets up to.
Lazard reaches up, knuckles bumping into his glasses as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Angeal, may I ask exactly what you plan to do with printer paper and staples...?" It isn't as though he's ever been against wasting as much of ShinRa's money as possible, of course. It's just that, for his own peace of mind and curiosity, he'd like to know what exactly is going on with all of these boxes.
"I admit it might be more than just printer paper and staples," Angeal admits, which Lazard already rather suspected. "And anyway.... This is all the merchandise that's going to go with some zines."
Zines? As in, the impromptu magazines that are mailed out or bought in small stores? Well, with what he knows about Angeal - thrifty, with an interest in things like recipes and plantcare - this does sound right. And yet he has a nose for mischief; he's had to develop it ever since getting Angeal and Genesis in SOLDIER. "What would the zines be about, exactly?"
Angeal coughs into one hand and avoids his gaze in a way that's purposefully obvious. "So, have you heard about RPF...?"
"Angeal Joseph Hewley."
RPF. Of course he knows about RPF! It's nothing but one big headache for him, one thing after another. He's had to send so many Cease-And-Desists letters out for people who have been getting far too close to using his Firsts' names or likenesses in their nonsense to try and be the next big hit on whatever it is they're working on. And now Angeal himself is mixed up in all of it?
At least Angeal has the decency to pretend he's embarrassed, or ashamed, or anything within that realm. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm being equal opportunity about it," he says.
"So it does involve the three of you." Lazard props his glasses on his head so that he can smear his hand across his face with impunity. "Angela, Angeal? really?" It's so flagrantly obvious that it almost feels like a joke. Is that how it got away for so long? Actually - "How long has Angela R. been a thing?"
It actually takes Angeal a moment to think about that, one hand curling at his chin. "....Probably a little over a year, I suppose. Obviously I've made her an Angeal Hewley fan."
Dammit - Lazard fights back against the smile that threatens to spasm across his face. That shouldn't be as amusing to him as it is. "And absolutely no one has questioned the similarities in your names?"
"Obviously the fact that our names are so similar is a destined sign that there's a connection between us," Angeal says and god damn him but he does it with the straightest face. That bastard. He knows that Lazard has to hide his face at that, forcing his expression back under control. "And lets be honest, who thinks that a First Class SOLDIER would do something like this with such an obvious name? People don't think twice about it." There's a pause. "...Want to see how things are looking?"
Hell with it. "Why not, show me what mischief you're up to now," he says in surrender, going to take a seat down at one end of the table. At least if there's an advantage to being in a big building like ShinRa, it's that there's no end of empty conference rooms they can use. Really, too many useless rooms in this place from the start.
And he has to admit, it's clear that even if this is absolute ridiculous nonsense, it is nonsense that Angeal has put a great deal of work into. "I didn't realize that zines had gotten so elaborate in years," he muses, having to admit some amount of being impressed when Angeal shows him various enamel pins. It seems that there are three main designs and... Ah. "Are these shipping pins?"
"Discrete enough that most people won't think too hard on them," Angeal laughs. At least someone is having a good time here, even if it's not going to be Lazard and his approaching headache. "That's the one for Genesis and Sephiroth. What do you think?"
If he's honest? Classier than he was expecting. It's simply a design of Masamune, going straight through the pale purple of a Banora White apple that's shaped just a bit more like a heart than ta normal apple would be. Something subtle enough that won't even draw immediate attention to either First. That it's subtle like this is actually almost a little bit annoying, he must admit. This way, he can't make any complaints on it being inappropriate for them, or especially Sephiroth. The same can be said for what he suspects to be the pin for Angeal and Genesis, which a set of Banora White flowers blossoming around what is clearly a copy of Loveless, and then what surely is Sephiroth and Angeal in turn, which is half of Masamune against half of Buster.
Plausible deniability for all of it.
"Why for all three of you?" he asks, incredulous as he starts looking through some of the things that are to be put in the zines themselves - some artwork depicting his Firsts, yes, but also plenty of things like food recipes based around Loveless, or small compilations of poems. "No - how on earth did you even get into all of this in the first place?"
Angeal shrugs, still patiently organizing all the paperwork and the various little pieces of merch. "I suppose I was just curious - and Genesis was too, if you were wondering where he stands on all of this."
"I had to be trapped in my office while he read thirst posts about the three of you, so I believe I was more than well aware, but I thank you for the consideration."
That little comment causes a delay in the explanation, Angeal having to turn his head away so that he can smile into his hand. "Of course," he says after a moment, when he won't fall apart into laughter of his own. "Well, as I said - I got curious, once, so I thought I'd look into what things people were saying about us. The big trap of getting even a little famous. There were the usual annoying tabloids of course - and I am thankful you sent C&Ds towards all the ones that wouldn't stop talking about my dick, I really am. But then I stumbled upon some of the fanclubs, saw a few of what they were working on..." He taps his chin a bit. "I was getting a little bit annoyed with all the paparazzi stuff at the time, so I just thought I'd make a little story under a false name for fun and get my mind off things. Then one thing lead to another."
"One thing lead to another and here you are running zines for you and your two closest friends."
Angeal tries not to smile. He is not wholly successful. "You may be surprised to hear this, but Angela R. is quite a big name in The Keepers of Honor circles."
Sometimes, he wonders if he's not giving his SOLDIERs enough time for themselves. ShinRa would work all of them to the death if it could, Lazard knows this, he knows it for an indisputable fact.... just like he knows that they would reduce SOLDIER down to nothing but cannon fodder if it weren't for his position as its director.
For the first time, he ponders if he's given Angeal far too much free time.
"You're pondering how pissed off you should be at me," Angeal comments idly,when Lazard has been dead eyeing him for perhaps a bit too long, and it isn't as though he's wrong. Lazard despises how much his Firsts are used for ShinRa's little media machine. "Would it make you feel better if you learned that, for starters, I'm not in charge of all these zines, just the one with me and Sephiroth?"
"I will keep it in my considerations."
Angeal nods, not particularly surprised it seems. "Then, what if I said that I worked hard with those fans to ensure there were strict rules put into place for these zines?"
"I suppose... that could be a little more promising. What rules, exactly."
"For starters, nothing was to be sexual in nature," Angeal starts off, flicking one finger up. "I stressed the importance of remembering that we are dealing with living breathing real people, and our... idols deserve at least a little bit of respect in that area." How he manages to maintain a straight face saying that is in fact impressive. Some people wonder why a theatre enthusiast like Genesis is so close with someone like Angeal, and Lazard is fairly certain it's because Angeal is secretly an actor. "For that same reason, I've told them that they are not to send any Firsts this zine and the like."
Raising an eyebrow, Lazard leans back in his chair. "....So. What have you set aside for Genesis?"
Angeal glances to him smiling. "Listen, I know he'll love the pin for the Poetry In Battle zine."
What a name. At least it is still passable. Lazard tries to pretend he is any sort of optimist and considers that at least it is passable. It doesn't stop him from pinching the bridge of his nose at the sensation of an oncoming headache. "I thought in respect to your idols, you wouldn't send anything to any of them?"
"I'm not going to send it to him. I'm going to hide it in his desk that he uses when he wants to spend all of ShinRa's money on office supplies for his Loveless essays, so that he finds it two weeks from now."
Another snort escapes him before he can stop it. Considering it's Genesis, he probably was nosing about in fan spaces long before Angeal was, and so there's not a doubt in his mind that the redhead will immediately recognize what the pin symbolizes. He'll also no doubt immediately know who to blame. "Well, at least I cannot imagine any complaints about design."
Angeal's laughter is at least nice to hear, for all that this is an utter pain in the ass mess. "I know his tastes best, of course I'd make sure he couldn't complain."
"True enough, I suppose." Lowering his hand, Lazard looks over the various pins again. Little magnets, bookmarks - there's quite a variety. Turning a bookmark inbetween his fingers, he tilts his head to the side thoughtfully. "Is there any particular reason you've gotten so absorbed into this sort of project?"
Surprisingly enough.... There's no immediate answer this time around. Angeal is silent, sorting through various pieces of paper - things that look like properly written essays, short stories, bits of poetry. Plenty of artwork, much of which Lazard has to admit has a lot of passion and skill put behind each piece. "It's hard not to regret joining ShinRa," Angeal suddenly says, and Lazard stares for a moment. It... isn't exactly the kind of response or turn he was expecting in this conversation. "I likely shouldn't be saying that so flagrantly, but it is the simple truth of the matter. They sell a lot of pretty words, especially when you're so far from Midgar that you don't even know the street names, and I've met good people on the ground of it all... But I'm not blind. I got a pretty clear look at how things really were when I arrived in this city." He snorts. "Although the smog sure made it hard."
Slowly, Lazard tries to piece the words together with the question that he'd asked. "...So it was just stress relief to do, this whole ridiculous thing with the fanfiction and all of that?" To deal with... disillusionment. That's the proper word for it all, isn't it?
Angeal shrugs, looking through paper seemingly just to give his hands something to do. "It was just an easy silly thing to do, honestly. Get my mind off of everything else. Although do you want to know something that's a little bit funny about it all, Director? I think, in some ways, I've just made things more complicated for myself."
"How's that, Angeal?"
"For all that I'm disillusioned with this company, for all that there's not a trace of honor to be found in a single brick and who knows what the actual truth is in this war... There's no denying the more immediate on the ground effects. There are plenty of innocent people who get caught up in this sort of thing - let's say even if the war is bad, am I when I raise my sword to keep some Third who just joined in hopes he could get better pay to send back to his family?" He rakes his fingers through his hair. "At this point, the war is so over every regular person's head..."
Including, of course, some of those well meaning fans of his, or Genesis's, or Sephiroth's. Some of them may even be fans because one of the Firsts saved a family member's platoon, or got rid of monsters threatening their hometown. It's not an uncommon story, honestly. Some newspapers still like to run such heartwarming tales, even without ShinRa's interference.
Those are just the outspoken ones. The cases that get a little publicity. For as many people that ShinRa has failed... There are still a great many who have thought themselves saved. Who were saved. Who can count the numbers to measure which group is "greater"? It's a question that can hound a man on the battlefield, and how unfortunate that it still dogs his steps back in the place he's had to call home.
Angeal has been teased, a bit, in how he looks a bit more mature than others his age, even his best friend... but he's still so young. He's only in his twenties.
(Lazard is also still so young by comparison, was younger still when he first was made to take over SOLDIER as some sort of test. He doesn't think about it. He tries not to think about it. There are more important things.)
"There is honor here now that you are here," Lazard points out, just to give Angeal some peace of mind. Something to feel that he's done. "And... We can make some changes together, the two of us." Maybe, so long as he works hard enough, can find a way to destroy it from the inside... Later. Right now, Lazard reaches over, puts his hand over Angeal's. "You don't need to indulge some fans by helping out their little projects to do all of that."
Angeal's fingers shift underneath his, spread just enough that his own could sink inbetwen the gaps if he decided. "I guess." And then he flashes him a faint smile. "So it's a good thing my participation is just for fun, and the zines are for charity."
"Charity?"
"Yeah." Angeal looks back to the variety of things in front of him, and picks up with one hand a rather lovingly made picture in colored pencil of him and Sephiroth together in some sort of garden. It's quite chaste, all things considered - and beautiful. Sephiroth simply sitting on a bench amidst the greenery, looking more at peace than Lazard has ever seen him, and Angeal right behind him, smiling down fondly with potted plants in his arms. "Call it fandom peacemaking, getting three big groups of RPF shippers to unite together for a series of zines where everything goes to some form of charity or another. Every single profit, besides paying for the materials to make some of this stuff so we're not at a complete net loss, is going somewhere else."
Lazard shakes his head, even if he's starting to smile again. "So that's why you wanted to use all the office supplies you could filch from ShinRa. It would make the production far cheaper, and more money could go to this cause. What charity exactly are you doing?"
"Well, it felt only fitting that we match the subject to each pairing." Angeal begins to pick up each little object, clearly belonging to the different zines, to indicate who he's talking about. "So for Sephiroth and Genesis's zine, it's going to be sent to an organization that helps fund the arts in lower income zones, or even down in the slums. You know how those idiots in the Science Department never even let him scribble on some paper when they had him down there.
"As for mine and Genesis's, well, you know how it is in Banora." Lazard doesn't, not really as a matter of fact, but he lets Angeal keep talking. "You have the one good family, and then everyone else is just working nonstop to take care of the dumbapples. The school there isn't anything impressive, and neither are the medical facilities. So it's going to be sent over there, help get some new vaccinations in town, pay for at least a little bit of new equipment even if it can't be anything fancy.
"So that just leaves the one for me and Sephiroth. I actually asked him if there were any charities he was interested with - don't worry, I didn't mention the zines or anything. But you know ShinRa's PR campaign, always trying to use our names for a pittance of the money they make used on things like that. So it's going to a food charity that teaches people how to make food with little."
The entire time, he hasn't moved his hand from underneath Lazard's.
Honestly, just look at him. Lazard shakes his head, smiling and trying to act more exasperated than he is. "This is exactly what I'm talking about when I mention how your efforts bring honor here where there may have been none," he points out, resisting the urge to sink his fingers down between Angeal's. Really, it wouldn't be appropriate. He's already skirting some fraternization rules as it is. "I have seen just how much your old swords go for when ShinRa sells them off, and you could have easily made a good bit of money through this. Even if the bigger problems may be more complicated than you ever could have imagined when you first signed up.... You are doing good."
The hand beneath Lazard's shifts just a little bit, almost as if meaning to indicate something. "You sure know how to reach a guy, huh?" he says after a moment. "Just do whatever your hands can reach... I think I heard a saying like that once. Well, if my esteemed Director says as much, then I suppose I'll just have to believe him." Angeal turns his head, smiles at him. "Although you know you do the same, right?"
"What?"
Angeal chuckles. "Everyone talks about it, you know. SOLDIER wasn't anything worth anything until Director Deusericus came along. You have the respect of a lot of people who put trust in you, and know that you'll have their back against the rest of ShinRa's overwhelming everything."
It's by far not flowery language at all. So why is Lazard's face heating up? "Well, it is my department, I wouldn't have any respect at all if I allowed the others to walk all over it," he says, coughing into his free hand. He should... probably take his hand off off Angeal's lest that anyone else get the wrong idea. He doesn't. "And while ShinRa may conveniently regret this fact, it is undeniable that it is thanks to all of your hard work that they are allowed to be as successful as they are. I mean, look at your achievements alone!"
"My achievements in helping three separate RPF zines collaborate?"
Lazard rolls his eyes. "I was thinking of all the people you have personally trained and the various squadrons whose lives are owed to you, but if you must put RPF zines on the pedestal next to them, do as you like."
Terrible man, because all he does is laugh to himself again. "Well, when you put it like that, perhaps I'll refrain." He glances to Lazard from the corner of his eye. "You know, if more of those fans saw you like this... I bet you would have a fanclub all your own, and plenty of those dedicated to shipping you."
"Now you're simply being ridiculous."
"What's so ridiculous about it?" Even as Angeal asks the question, a pager in Lazard's pocket goes off, and he starts digging to fetch it, glance down. "Although if you want something more down to earth, do you have some free time this Friday? I'm trying out this recipe-"
Lazard curses under his breath, getting up to his feet. "That absolute nuisance - I'm sorry, Angeal, I'm going to be busy. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an urgent matter to attend to - but don't worry, I will make sure that you get everything you need for this zine project of yours. Just try to keep it private from anyone else here. Now I have to be off."
He's already down the hall and entering the elevator, having composed five different variations of an email to tear Heidegger's stupid ear off, when his mind actually decides to go back to that conversation he was having with Angeal. Holds up the words that were being spoken to him in his mind.
Was.... Was he being asked out on a date?
Lazard almost forgets to hit the button for his floor.
"Is everything alright?" Sephiroth asks Angeal in the locker room after the two of them have had their usual spar. It never feels quite right, when it's only the two of them and Genesis is out on a mission, but it can't be helped. Both of them get antsy, now, if they haven't had a chance to spar a little bit, and they're the only ones for each other who can keep up.
Except Angeal had walked into the locker room pre-spar groaning into his hands, so Sephiroth had taken that to mean something had happened.
Just being reminded of that has Angeal grimace, and he presses his hand to his face again. "I got shot down."
Shot down? Except, well, Angeal looks fine... Not that such a thing means much. Angeal regularly takes Firaga to the face, courtesy of Genesis, and he's always up again in but a few seconds. If he takes longer, it's mostly because he's getting over the annoyance of having to deal with that. Sephiroth can only assume that he got distracted during a bit of simulation training and got hit as a consequence of a stupid mistake. "It happens to the best of us," he reassures Angeal.
"That doesn't make it any less embarrassing," Angeal replies, before sighing and shaking his head. "Genesis is going to tease me the second he gets back... Well, I won't make it easy for him." Reaching into the locker, he pulls out a small little drawstring bag. "Here. Wear this when we go to greet Genesis when he gets back from his mission."
Inside the little bag is a small enamel pin, depicting one half of Masamune besides one half of Buster. A part of him is quite pleased, to be honest. He likes... being close with Angeal and Genesis. He likes being reminded that he is close with them.
But also he can at least recognize when he is getting drafted into nonsense.
"Is this going to annoy Genesis?"
"100%."
Sephiroth puts on the enamel pin.
"Something wrong, Director?"
"We just received multiple boxes that were addressed to a Secretary Angela R., but it must have been sent to the wrong department. I haven't hired or transferred a new secretary by that name. The problem is going to be tracking her down in a corporation as large as ShinRa..."
"Oh, those would be mine, then."
Lazard can only stare for a moment at First Class Angeal Hewley, who's now started to investigate the boxes with something of a renewed interest. Did he somehow mishear? Or perhaps the names on the boxes were misspelled? Yet there are multiple boxes, from multiple places. That is a bit of a stretch. In the end, all he can manage is a flat and bewildered, "What."
It seems to finally occur to Angeal that perhaps he ought explain, and he looks back to him. "Right, I wasn't able to ask you about it since I just got back from the frontline for a while, with all the surprise paperwork that got dumped on me... but I was hoping that you would let me use no small amount of office supplies, Director Lazard. I thought with how much that ShinRa goes through anyway, it isn't as though they would notice some staples and a lot of printer paper."
This is most certainly going to be a day. Lazard rather suspected it would, just when he saw the sheer number of boxes, but he's realizing now that he underestimated just how much of A Day it was going to be.
Most people seem to find that Genesis is the worst troublemaker out of the trio that have made First Class a true aspiration. That's easy to see why, and Lazard would never deny that particular claim. Genesis has a lot of passion in him, for better or worse, and a deepseated distaste for most authority that has actually made getting him to listen to orders an occasional struggle (and Lazard feels mingled pride and guilt that the redhead respects him enough to listen to his).
But that is the problem, you see. People are so distracted by Genesis's more flashy displays of troublemaking that they're often completely blindsided by the sort of nonsense Angeal gets up to.
Lazard reaches up, knuckles bumping into his glasses as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Angeal, may I ask exactly what you plan to do with printer paper and staples...?" It isn't as though he's ever been against wasting as much of ShinRa's money as possible, of course. It's just that, for his own peace of mind and curiosity, he'd like to know what exactly is going on with all of these boxes.
"I admit it might be more than just printer paper and staples," Angeal admits, which Lazard already rather suspected. "And anyway.... This is all the merchandise that's going to go with some zines."
Zines? As in, the impromptu magazines that are mailed out or bought in small stores? Well, with what he knows about Angeal - thrifty, with an interest in things like recipes and plantcare - this does sound right. And yet he has a nose for mischief; he's had to develop it ever since getting Angeal and Genesis in SOLDIER. "What would the zines be about, exactly?"
Angeal coughs into one hand and avoids his gaze in a way that's purposefully obvious. "So, have you heard about RPF...?"
"Angeal Joseph Hewley."
RPF. Of course he knows about RPF! It's nothing but one big headache for him, one thing after another. He's had to send so many Cease-And-Desists letters out for people who have been getting far too close to using his Firsts' names or likenesses in their nonsense to try and be the next big hit on whatever it is they're working on. And now Angeal himself is mixed up in all of it?
At least Angeal has the decency to pretend he's embarrassed, or ashamed, or anything within that realm. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm being equal opportunity about it," he says.
"So it does involve the three of you." Lazard props his glasses on his head so that he can smear his hand across his face with impunity. "Angela, Angeal? really?" It's so flagrantly obvious that it almost feels like a joke. Is that how it got away for so long? Actually - "How long has Angela R. been a thing?"
It actually takes Angeal a moment to think about that, one hand curling at his chin. "....Probably a little over a year, I suppose. Obviously I've made her an Angeal Hewley fan."
Dammit - Lazard fights back against the smile that threatens to spasm across his face. That shouldn't be as amusing to him as it is. "And absolutely no one has questioned the similarities in your names?"
"Obviously the fact that our names are so similar is a destined sign that there's a connection between us," Angeal says and god damn him but he does it with the straightest face. That bastard. He knows that Lazard has to hide his face at that, forcing his expression back under control. "And lets be honest, who thinks that a First Class SOLDIER would do something like this with such an obvious name? People don't think twice about it." There's a pause. "...Want to see how things are looking?"
Hell with it. "Why not, show me what mischief you're up to now," he says in surrender, going to take a seat down at one end of the table. At least if there's an advantage to being in a big building like ShinRa, it's that there's no end of empty conference rooms they can use. Really, too many useless rooms in this place from the start.
And he has to admit, it's clear that even if this is absolute ridiculous nonsense, it is nonsense that Angeal has put a great deal of work into. "I didn't realize that zines had gotten so elaborate in years," he muses, having to admit some amount of being impressed when Angeal shows him various enamel pins. It seems that there are three main designs and... Ah. "Are these shipping pins?"
"Discrete enough that most people won't think too hard on them," Angeal laughs. At least someone is having a good time here, even if it's not going to be Lazard and his approaching headache. "That's the one for Genesis and Sephiroth. What do you think?"
If he's honest? Classier than he was expecting. It's simply a design of Masamune, going straight through the pale purple of a Banora White apple that's shaped just a bit more like a heart than ta normal apple would be. Something subtle enough that won't even draw immediate attention to either First. That it's subtle like this is actually almost a little bit annoying, he must admit. This way, he can't make any complaints on it being inappropriate for them, or especially Sephiroth. The same can be said for what he suspects to be the pin for Angeal and Genesis, which a set of Banora White flowers blossoming around what is clearly a copy of Loveless, and then what surely is Sephiroth and Angeal in turn, which is half of Masamune against half of Buster.
Plausible deniability for all of it.
"Why for all three of you?" he asks, incredulous as he starts looking through some of the things that are to be put in the zines themselves - some artwork depicting his Firsts, yes, but also plenty of things like food recipes based around Loveless, or small compilations of poems. "No - how on earth did you even get into all of this in the first place?"
Angeal shrugs, still patiently organizing all the paperwork and the various little pieces of merch. "I suppose I was just curious - and Genesis was too, if you were wondering where he stands on all of this."
"I had to be trapped in my office while he read thirst posts about the three of you, so I believe I was more than well aware, but I thank you for the consideration."
That little comment causes a delay in the explanation, Angeal having to turn his head away so that he can smile into his hand. "Of course," he says after a moment, when he won't fall apart into laughter of his own. "Well, as I said - I got curious, once, so I thought I'd look into what things people were saying about us. The big trap of getting even a little famous. There were the usual annoying tabloids of course - and I am thankful you sent C&Ds towards all the ones that wouldn't stop talking about my dick, I really am. But then I stumbled upon some of the fanclubs, saw a few of what they were working on..." He taps his chin a bit. "I was getting a little bit annoyed with all the paparazzi stuff at the time, so I just thought I'd make a little story under a false name for fun and get my mind off things. Then one thing lead to another."
"One thing lead to another and here you are running zines for you and your two closest friends."
Angeal tries not to smile. He is not wholly successful. "You may be surprised to hear this, but Angela R. is quite a big name in The Keepers of Honor circles."
Sometimes, he wonders if he's not giving his SOLDIERs enough time for themselves. ShinRa would work all of them to the death if it could, Lazard knows this, he knows it for an indisputable fact.... just like he knows that they would reduce SOLDIER down to nothing but cannon fodder if it weren't for his position as its director.
For the first time, he ponders if he's given Angeal far too much free time.
"You're pondering how pissed off you should be at me," Angeal comments idly,when Lazard has been dead eyeing him for perhaps a bit too long, and it isn't as though he's wrong. Lazard despises how much his Firsts are used for ShinRa's little media machine. "Would it make you feel better if you learned that, for starters, I'm not in charge of all these zines, just the one with me and Sephiroth?"
"I will keep it in my considerations."
Angeal nods, not particularly surprised it seems. "Then, what if I said that I worked hard with those fans to ensure there were strict rules put into place for these zines?"
"I suppose... that could be a little more promising. What rules, exactly."
"For starters, nothing was to be sexual in nature," Angeal starts off, flicking one finger up. "I stressed the importance of remembering that we are dealing with living breathing real people, and our... idols deserve at least a little bit of respect in that area." How he manages to maintain a straight face saying that is in fact impressive. Some people wonder why a theatre enthusiast like Genesis is so close with someone like Angeal, and Lazard is fairly certain it's because Angeal is secretly an actor. "For that same reason, I've told them that they are not to send any Firsts this zine and the like."
Raising an eyebrow, Lazard leans back in his chair. "....So. What have you set aside for Genesis?"
Angeal glances to him smiling. "Listen, I know he'll love the pin for the Poetry In Battle zine."
What a name. At least it is still passable. Lazard tries to pretend he is any sort of optimist and considers that at least it is passable. It doesn't stop him from pinching the bridge of his nose at the sensation of an oncoming headache. "I thought in respect to your idols, you wouldn't send anything to any of them?"
"I'm not going to send it to him. I'm going to hide it in his desk that he uses when he wants to spend all of ShinRa's money on office supplies for his Loveless essays, so that he finds it two weeks from now."
Another snort escapes him before he can stop it. Considering it's Genesis, he probably was nosing about in fan spaces long before Angeal was, and so there's not a doubt in his mind that the redhead will immediately recognize what the pin symbolizes. He'll also no doubt immediately know who to blame. "Well, at least I cannot imagine any complaints about design."
Angeal's laughter is at least nice to hear, for all that this is an utter pain in the ass mess. "I know his tastes best, of course I'd make sure he couldn't complain."
"True enough, I suppose." Lowering his hand, Lazard looks over the various pins again. Little magnets, bookmarks - there's quite a variety. Turning a bookmark inbetween his fingers, he tilts his head to the side thoughtfully. "Is there any particular reason you've gotten so absorbed into this sort of project?"
Surprisingly enough.... There's no immediate answer this time around. Angeal is silent, sorting through various pieces of paper - things that look like properly written essays, short stories, bits of poetry. Plenty of artwork, much of which Lazard has to admit has a lot of passion and skill put behind each piece. "It's hard not to regret joining ShinRa," Angeal suddenly says, and Lazard stares for a moment. It... isn't exactly the kind of response or turn he was expecting in this conversation. "I likely shouldn't be saying that so flagrantly, but it is the simple truth of the matter. They sell a lot of pretty words, especially when you're so far from Midgar that you don't even know the street names, and I've met good people on the ground of it all... But I'm not blind. I got a pretty clear look at how things really were when I arrived in this city." He snorts. "Although the smog sure made it hard."
Slowly, Lazard tries to piece the words together with the question that he'd asked. "...So it was just stress relief to do, this whole ridiculous thing with the fanfiction and all of that?" To deal with... disillusionment. That's the proper word for it all, isn't it?
Angeal shrugs, looking through paper seemingly just to give his hands something to do. "It was just an easy silly thing to do, honestly. Get my mind off of everything else. Although do you want to know something that's a little bit funny about it all, Director? I think, in some ways, I've just made things more complicated for myself."
"How's that, Angeal?"
"For all that I'm disillusioned with this company, for all that there's not a trace of honor to be found in a single brick and who knows what the actual truth is in this war... There's no denying the more immediate on the ground effects. There are plenty of innocent people who get caught up in this sort of thing - let's say even if the war is bad, am I when I raise my sword to keep some Third who just joined in hopes he could get better pay to send back to his family?" He rakes his fingers through his hair. "At this point, the war is so over every regular person's head..."
Including, of course, some of those well meaning fans of his, or Genesis's, or Sephiroth's. Some of them may even be fans because one of the Firsts saved a family member's platoon, or got rid of monsters threatening their hometown. It's not an uncommon story, honestly. Some newspapers still like to run such heartwarming tales, even without ShinRa's interference.
Those are just the outspoken ones. The cases that get a little publicity. For as many people that ShinRa has failed... There are still a great many who have thought themselves saved. Who were saved. Who can count the numbers to measure which group is "greater"? It's a question that can hound a man on the battlefield, and how unfortunate that it still dogs his steps back in the place he's had to call home.
Angeal has been teased, a bit, in how he looks a bit more mature than others his age, even his best friend... but he's still so young. He's only in his twenties.
(Lazard is also still so young by comparison, was younger still when he first was made to take over SOLDIER as some sort of test. He doesn't think about it. He tries not to think about it. There are more important things.)
"There is honor here now that you are here," Lazard points out, just to give Angeal some peace of mind. Something to feel that he's done. "And... We can make some changes together, the two of us." Maybe, so long as he works hard enough, can find a way to destroy it from the inside... Later. Right now, Lazard reaches over, puts his hand over Angeal's. "You don't need to indulge some fans by helping out their little projects to do all of that."
Angeal's fingers shift underneath his, spread just enough that his own could sink inbetwen the gaps if he decided. "I guess." And then he flashes him a faint smile. "So it's a good thing my participation is just for fun, and the zines are for charity."
"Charity?"
"Yeah." Angeal looks back to the variety of things in front of him, and picks up with one hand a rather lovingly made picture in colored pencil of him and Sephiroth together in some sort of garden. It's quite chaste, all things considered - and beautiful. Sephiroth simply sitting on a bench amidst the greenery, looking more at peace than Lazard has ever seen him, and Angeal right behind him, smiling down fondly with potted plants in his arms. "Call it fandom peacemaking, getting three big groups of RPF shippers to unite together for a series of zines where everything goes to some form of charity or another. Every single profit, besides paying for the materials to make some of this stuff so we're not at a complete net loss, is going somewhere else."
Lazard shakes his head, even if he's starting to smile again. "So that's why you wanted to use all the office supplies you could filch from ShinRa. It would make the production far cheaper, and more money could go to this cause. What charity exactly are you doing?"
"Well, it felt only fitting that we match the subject to each pairing." Angeal begins to pick up each little object, clearly belonging to the different zines, to indicate who he's talking about. "So for Sephiroth and Genesis's zine, it's going to be sent to an organization that helps fund the arts in lower income zones, or even down in the slums. You know how those idiots in the Science Department never even let him scribble on some paper when they had him down there.
"As for mine and Genesis's, well, you know how it is in Banora." Lazard doesn't, not really as a matter of fact, but he lets Angeal keep talking. "You have the one good family, and then everyone else is just working nonstop to take care of the dumbapples. The school there isn't anything impressive, and neither are the medical facilities. So it's going to be sent over there, help get some new vaccinations in town, pay for at least a little bit of new equipment even if it can't be anything fancy.
"So that just leaves the one for me and Sephiroth. I actually asked him if there were any charities he was interested with - don't worry, I didn't mention the zines or anything. But you know ShinRa's PR campaign, always trying to use our names for a pittance of the money they make used on things like that. So it's going to a food charity that teaches people how to make food with little."
The entire time, he hasn't moved his hand from underneath Lazard's.
Honestly, just look at him. Lazard shakes his head, smiling and trying to act more exasperated than he is. "This is exactly what I'm talking about when I mention how your efforts bring honor here where there may have been none," he points out, resisting the urge to sink his fingers down between Angeal's. Really, it wouldn't be appropriate. He's already skirting some fraternization rules as it is. "I have seen just how much your old swords go for when ShinRa sells them off, and you could have easily made a good bit of money through this. Even if the bigger problems may be more complicated than you ever could have imagined when you first signed up.... You are doing good."
The hand beneath Lazard's shifts just a little bit, almost as if meaning to indicate something. "You sure know how to reach a guy, huh?" he says after a moment. "Just do whatever your hands can reach... I think I heard a saying like that once. Well, if my esteemed Director says as much, then I suppose I'll just have to believe him." Angeal turns his head, smiles at him. "Although you know you do the same, right?"
"What?"
Angeal chuckles. "Everyone talks about it, you know. SOLDIER wasn't anything worth anything until Director Deusericus came along. You have the respect of a lot of people who put trust in you, and know that you'll have their back against the rest of ShinRa's overwhelming everything."
It's by far not flowery language at all. So why is Lazard's face heating up? "Well, it is my department, I wouldn't have any respect at all if I allowed the others to walk all over it," he says, coughing into his free hand. He should... probably take his hand off off Angeal's lest that anyone else get the wrong idea. He doesn't. "And while ShinRa may conveniently regret this fact, it is undeniable that it is thanks to all of your hard work that they are allowed to be as successful as they are. I mean, look at your achievements alone!"
"My achievements in helping three separate RPF zines collaborate?"
Lazard rolls his eyes. "I was thinking of all the people you have personally trained and the various squadrons whose lives are owed to you, but if you must put RPF zines on the pedestal next to them, do as you like."
Terrible man, because all he does is laugh to himself again. "Well, when you put it like that, perhaps I'll refrain." He glances to Lazard from the corner of his eye. "You know, if more of those fans saw you like this... I bet you would have a fanclub all your own, and plenty of those dedicated to shipping you."
"Now you're simply being ridiculous."
"What's so ridiculous about it?" Even as Angeal asks the question, a pager in Lazard's pocket goes off, and he starts digging to fetch it, glance down. "Although if you want something more down to earth, do you have some free time this Friday? I'm trying out this recipe-"
Lazard curses under his breath, getting up to his feet. "That absolute nuisance - I'm sorry, Angeal, I'm going to be busy. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an urgent matter to attend to - but don't worry, I will make sure that you get everything you need for this zine project of yours. Just try to keep it private from anyone else here. Now I have to be off."
He's already down the hall and entering the elevator, having composed five different variations of an email to tear Heidegger's stupid ear off, when his mind actually decides to go back to that conversation he was having with Angeal. Holds up the words that were being spoken to him in his mind.
Was.... Was he being asked out on a date?
Lazard almost forgets to hit the button for his floor.
"Is everything alright?" Sephiroth asks Angeal in the locker room after the two of them have had their usual spar. It never feels quite right, when it's only the two of them and Genesis is out on a mission, but it can't be helped. Both of them get antsy, now, if they haven't had a chance to spar a little bit, and they're the only ones for each other who can keep up.
Except Angeal had walked into the locker room pre-spar groaning into his hands, so Sephiroth had taken that to mean something had happened.
Just being reminded of that has Angeal grimace, and he presses his hand to his face again. "I got shot down."
Shot down? Except, well, Angeal looks fine... Not that such a thing means much. Angeal regularly takes Firaga to the face, courtesy of Genesis, and he's always up again in but a few seconds. If he takes longer, it's mostly because he's getting over the annoyance of having to deal with that. Sephiroth can only assume that he got distracted during a bit of simulation training and got hit as a consequence of a stupid mistake. "It happens to the best of us," he reassures Angeal.
"That doesn't make it any less embarrassing," Angeal replies, before sighing and shaking his head. "Genesis is going to tease me the second he gets back... Well, I won't make it easy for him." Reaching into the locker, he pulls out a small little drawstring bag. "Here. Wear this when we go to greet Genesis when he gets back from his mission."
Inside the little bag is a small enamel pin, depicting one half of Masamune besides one half of Buster. A part of him is quite pleased, to be honest. He likes... being close with Angeal and Genesis. He likes being reminded that he is close with them.
But also he can at least recognize when he is getting drafted into nonsense.
"Is this going to annoy Genesis?"
"100%."
Sephiroth puts on the enamel pin.