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Church Source 17
The next couple of days are busy. Dimitri still insists on teaching Claude to swim one morning, getting him used to the cold of the water and guiding him along. Once an Intseh has learned to swim, apparently they never really forget, because Dimitri only seems to rapidly get better as he stays near to Claude to help him float or pull him back to shore when he seems to get tired. Claude still has plenty to teach him in turn as they go through the forest, foraging for herbs or anything that might be edible so that they can be pointed out to Dimitri.
All of that is on top of the mundane repetitions: taking care of the horses, cleaning things in the cabin, learning to cook. Dimitri still seems a little bit uneasy about the actual cooking portion of his lessons, not trusting himself as much as Claude does, but the preparation aspects of it make him more than happy enough. Just.... living at the cabin would make him happy enough.
But they can't live at the cabin. It's not really theirs, after all, despite it being the closest comfortable sort of home. Every day they stay there, the more there's a risk of someone from the Church finding them by nothing more than pure sloppiness and coincidence. After only a few days, when Dimitri is convinced that the worst of Claude's limp has gone, so they finally finish off the most perishable of their stores and begin to pack up for the first of many long journeys.
Any nerves Dimitri has are taken up by the first couple of days of riding. While he'd managed to get used to riding on their first journey up to the cabin... A lot of that is blurry by the time he gets on Ashi once again, considering how much had been happening on that night to start with. He listens well to any corrections Claude gives, and complains about as much as he had the first time... Which is to say, not at all. The ache to his rear and tail is truly a nuisance, but Dimitri's pain tolerance is rather.... Well. It is what it is after a lifetime of being the church's personal gladiator and executioner, and thus, as long as he's not bleeding out or paralyzed by pain, he finds no reason to raise a fuss. In a way, that helps slightly. While trained horses can travel for plenty of long distances, the actual distance traveled sometimes relies on their riders, who will need more breaks. Dimitri's quick learning, and his quiet tolerance, mean they don't need to stop nearly as much... Although they probably still need to do so occasionally more than what Claude would normally.
Camping is another interesting experience. It's certainly not as enjoyable as being in the cabin... But Dimitri is fairly certain that's the only reason he notices the rougher life that comes with traveling long distances. Otherwise, well, he lived in a cage kept outside, through all weather. The things that more have his attention or his care would be figuring out the proper time to settle in for the night, helping the horses, and setting up camp. All of these are lessons he listens to with as much focus as literally everything else Claude has taught him.
Those parts.... are the enjoyable parts. Even without the comfort of the cabin. Learning things, and being with Claude- Dimitri doesn't feel he needs much else.
The less enjoyable parts... are the rare occasions when they come across others along the road.
If there's any good news, it's that none of them wear the customary colors- notably that particular burning shade of red- of the church. Most just want to get to where they're going, mind dulled from long hours of traveling. That makes it easy enough to bluff past them, especially for someone like Claude. All that really needs to be done is keep Dimitri on the other side of him, feet hidden that way, while his hands retreat back into his cloak and his head stays bowed. Theoretically, it's easy.
On a real level, it clearly stresses Dimitri out every time. It takes patient work to talk him out of his own head, calm him down, and even that doesn't really seem to do the job. Every night they settle for camp after such encounters, Dimitri doesn't seem to sleep well, as if waiting for someone to come out of the darkness.
This only becomes more noticeable as the town begins to come into view along the horizon, which means there are of course more people: farms off of the road, other roads splintering off that have their own share of travelers. Dimitri seems to get all the more withdrawn, with his feet being the only thing visible of him. It's truly a good thing Ashi is as calm a horse as he is.
--
Claude hasn't missed the toll the trip has been taking on Dimitri - though the physical toll seems to be well within the other man's ability to handle, so it's the mental toll that's worrying him. He urges Wyvern closer to Ashi as they ride, glancing sidelong at Dimitri. "You doing okay?"
--
There's a small jolt when he's spoken at, and Dimitri tries to turn his head so that he can look at Claude better. It's.... not easy to do, when he only has one hand, is trying to keep his hands hidden, and the hood is always, always, in his way. "There's... I didn't realize towns looked like this." There's also too many people- too many humans- for him to feel comfortable about.
--
"Well, it's not like they all look the same. Even if you'd seen other towns, this one might surprise you." Claude offers him a smile of reassurance. "Don't worry. Intseh aren't exactly the dominant race here, but they're common enough. Some humans are still assholes, of course, but they're not the ones in charge. Intsehli merchants are a valuable source of trade in this city, and there's Intseh citizens too - so a human causing trouble for an Intseh who's minding his own business will end up with the human in trouble with the authorities. I know it's not going to feel like it, after we've been keeping to ourselves...but you're actually safer here, surrounded by people, than we were in the cabin. You've got a city's population to blend in with, and it's not common or practical for Intseh to be discriminated against here."
--
"It doesn't feel safer." So Claude is right on that one, at least. Dimitri's fingers grind against Ashi's reins, which have done a very admirable job of not being turned into so much string with how he's been fiddling with them. The idea of seeing other Intseh again is a strange and dizzying thing, one he doesn't know how to handle, so his brain once again hides it to the side.
The more dangerous option- in his eyes if nothing else- is what takes up priority. "It's- I hadn't noticed how close the buildings had been made together, when we.... left."
--
Claude eyes the buildings, then grins as he shoots Dimitri a sly, sidelong look. He doubts what he's thinking is what Dimitri is actually worried about, but maybe some teasing will relax him. Distract him, at the very least. "Worried someone might hear us? I didn't think you made me that loud..."
--
"Loud?" It takes a second for Dimitri to understand just... what exactly Claude is referencing, still caught up in his own worries, before there's the sound of his ears scraping along the inside of his hood when they flick back. "Claude."
--
Claude laughs. "Well, I'm having a hard time thinking of what other drawbacks there are to having the houses so close together! What did you mean, if not that?"
--
"I think it is just your mind is preoccupied with that." Dimitri falls silent for a moment as they pass by someone some distance away from the roads- certainly nowhere near enough to overhear their conversation, let alone that it's in Intsehli instead of the more common tongues around here, but Dimitri has been cautious that way. Much more cautious than is even really needed as he looks to either side of the road, shoulders hunched.
"...At any rate. Everything being close... means that people will be close as well. We've run into so many on the way there already...."
--
"Running into people isn't going to matter here that much, Dimitri," Claude says soothingly. "People are used to Intseh here, and the church doesn't like this place for being so inclusive to Intseh so its loyalists don't come here much. Not that many people are going to give you a second glance, and the ones who do won't be looking because they recognize you." He chuckles. "It'll mostly be because you're massive and muscular and look kind of terrifying."
--
If anything, that only seems to make Dimitri retreat into his cloak all the further, and he bites down on his tongue. Growling upsets Ashi, after all, even for a horse as patient as him. So instead, he's.... fallen into a slightly worse habit, not wanting to frighten his horse but unable to stop himself without some sort of physical barrier in place. That barrier being his teeth.
He needs a second before he can unlatch them from his tongue. "But they'll still be there. And I... I don't think I like that." It's fine when it's Claude. It's fine when it's Claude alone especially. But more people just.... He can't stop himself from getting tense, every time. And that's just been strangers they've been passing on the road so far.
--
"Mm...so it's more than just whether or not they're potential threats, huh?" Claude studies him. He's leading them to a stable where they can board their horses, for a fee; he's used it before, and he trusts them. He wouldn't leave Wyvern in any hands he didn't trust.
--
"I know they're not...." Except then he can't finish that sentence. Can't, because the presence of more people as they venture closer to the stable puts him on edge again. Can't, because it doesn't feel right in his mouth the way any other simple honest truth does.
Are they still potential threats? That's not right either. Not entirely. It feels as though there's still something he's missing when it comes to his own reactions. He just can't understand what the missing piece is.
"I don't know," he says, voice a quiet growl he can't quite stop and which he follows up with a quick rub of Ashi's neck.
--
"It's okay," Claude murmurs, now riding so close that his leg is almost brushing Dimitri's. "You haven't had the chance to be around other people yet who treat you like a normal person. Who don't want to hurt you. So you're probably going to be on edge around people until you do experience that, and get used to it. So...it'll feel uncomfortable at first, and I don't think there's any way to make it not uncomfortable...but it'll fade more and more, the more you do it."
Then he gives Dimitri a sidelong grin and a wink. "Kind of like my toy, I guess. You just have to keep doing it until it starts feeling good."
--
If not for what's required on the leg front to ride a horse without falling off, Dimitri would probably be curled up entirely on top of Ashi. It's hard to say if Claude's teasing makes that entire bit worse or not. There's just certainly a silent hiss of, "Please stop acting as though you want to have sex in public!"
That's all he'll dare to say once they're too close to the stable, however. For all that Intseh might be more common in this town, he still keeps himself tucked away, glancing around uneasily. If he just sits there, seeing nothing, he thinks he might only work himself up even further.
--
Claude laughs. "You know, everything I've said has been totally within the realm of plausible deniability~. You're the one who mentioned the s-word..." He pulls Wyvern up in front of the stable, sliding off with some measure of relief. He's mostly better, but a week of riding isn't a joke under any circumstances and the lingering ache has definitely woken up under such abuse to complain. "But if you insist, I'll behave."
--
"You brought up your sex toy...." Why is he the one always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to these sort of conversations? Dimitri truly doesn't understand. At least, after a week of riding and camping, he does understand how to get off of his horse properly now, and his movements are a little smoother than the night they first arrived at the cabin. He keeps a hold of Ashi's reins, staying near to his horse as he looks around them.
"....Are we staying the night in the town...?"
--
"I never said what kind of toy it was," Claude says innocently. "And yes. We might stay a few days, actually. The horses need the rest, I have some contacts to make, and more than anything else, we need supplies. Staying a few days means we won't just be stuck with whatever the merchants have to offer on the one day we're here; you never know when they'll restock with some nice finds."
--
He was rather afraid Claude would say something like that.
"I suppose.... you will not let me stay in Mahtashi's stable stall." Ashi makes him feel better. Or, perhaps it's less that the horse in particular makes him feel better, but that he offers up the perfect distraction to Dimitri. He has to watch so much of himself when it comes to the horse, in a way that feels immediate and gets through to his mind. There's also just so much of what he needs to watch out for in general when it comes to horsecare.
...And, more importantly, it would keep him out of the town that he's come to dread more and more.
--
"No, Dimitri." Claude's voice is patient, but resolute. "I told you, this is only going to stay miserable until you start experiencing it and adjusting to it. If you avoid dealing with towns, then it's always going to feel like this being in them. But if you push through, it's going to start to get easier. I know it's not easy...but I also know you've managed things a lot worse than this." He stands beside Wyvern, holding his reins. "You can do this."
--
"I feel as though.... if my worst is near death experiences.... That should not be allowed as an excuse." His bar is already as low as it can go. Dimitri lets out a slow breath, jaw and a bit more of his body feeling too stiff.
--
"Exactly how close to that do you think this will be?" Claude asks, with an amused smile on his lips. He holds out a hand to Dimitri. "Come on, they'll take care of Wyvern and Ashi at this stable while we go get a room at an inn."
--
If he's honest with what he really thinks, then too close for comfort. For now, Dimitri just doesn't offer a response- telling on its own- before he briefly turns back to Ashi. Gently, he takes the horse by the face and presses close to him. "We will both be good around humans," he murmurs, like it's a promise, before he lets go. The hood still stays up, and he holds himself close.... but, warily, he reaches out to accept Claude's hand.
--
Ashi makes a low, soft noise, rubbing his head against Dimitri's slightly. Claude, meanwhile, tugs gently at Dimitri's hand. "Come on, let's take them in."
--
All it takes is that slight of a tug for Dimitri to stick close to Claude as much as he'd been sticking close to his horse. He still feels uneasy, which is unfortunate in how this translates to a slightly more tense and aggressive air than he's displayed in, well.... The entire time him and Claude have known each other once again.
"Do we just put them in, and what do we do afterwards...?"
--
Claude, observing Dimitri's attitude, makes an executive decision. "I'll take them in," he declares, taking Ashi's reins from Dimitri. "I pay the owner of the stables, and he puts our horses up while we're in the city. That includes having his hired help take care of them - feeding, grooming, plus some early morning and late evening exercising. Afterwards, like I said, we'll go get rooms at an inn."
--
"Mm." It's a slightly lower sound, leaning more towards the rough edge of a growl without quite getting there, although Dimitri surrenders Ashi's reins easily enough. He has nothing on which to pay someone for literally anything, goods or services either, so this is probably for the better. Yet that still.... "Do you want me to help with retrieving things from their saddles?" He's not sure what else he's to do otherwise.
--
"We'll just take the bags themselves with us. You can carry Ashi's, sure, but I can get them off myself easily enough." Claude shrugs and smiles. "But the way I see it, you either have to come inside and brave the people in there, or wait here and brave the people on the streets. You're not going to have a lot of good options for total avoidance here, even if you want them."
--
So, in other words, all of his options are terrible. Dimitri doesn't answer immediately, instead using his free hand to begin removing the bags off of Ashi's saddle. It gives him some time to weighs the pros and cons of both situations, now that he has to face them and can't run away. Eventually, holding a bag close to his chest, he glances up at Claude before slowly looking away again.
"....I'll wait out here." He doesn't like leaving Claude alone. Doesn't like being alone, himself. But the feeling of having a sky over his head, and plenty of room to move... He does like that. If he were in a smaller space, around so many others he doesn't know.... Dimitri isn't sure how he'd act but he's well aware that violence would be on the table. If he accidentally hurt Claude....
....He doesn't want to think about that.
His gaze goes back to Claude, briefly. "...It won't take long, will it?"
--
"Probably not." Claude winks at him. "Don't worry, I've got it all under control. I'm pretty well-liked here, for an Almyran." And, before Dimitri can unpack those words, Claude is walking away, Wyvern and Ashi in tow, leaving him alone on the street.
Well, 'alone' except for all the other people on the street. Of which there are plenty. Fortunately, aside from a glance or two, no one seems to be taking an undue amount of interest in Dimitri.
--
There is sure a lot to unpack there. Dimitri has questions, or perhaps just one in particular, but Claude is gone in a heartbeat, and it's just... him. Him, and an entire town. His hands retreat back behind his cloak, drawing it closed, and he looks around, quickly, before pulling back close to a wall with his back to it.
It was only when he was younger that he ever had his back to the wall, literally. He'd been more frantic, then. More desperate to find another solution, because that couldn't be his fate, could it? To have another's blood on his hands, that.... His parents had always been so serious about it, made sure to correct any bad influences immediately, and they had always been careful to talk to him about death. Perhaps they had talked about humans in such conversations, although Dimitri can't remember clearly now. But he had remembered, back then, how serious his father had been about it. How much he had tried to beg the other party to stop. How much he had tried to force a non-lethal match, when begging didn't work.
How his brand had burned, worse than new, worse than skin-deep, and he'd woken up sick with blood in his mouth.
It's been a long time since then, since he'd surrendered, experimented, and then surrendered again in an entirely different way. Now- then? Then, when he was still executioner, which he is no longer- he's not bothered to let his back get to that point ever again. Now that he's doing it again, he feels.... It's....
His claws twitch into the cloak's lining, and he lets out a slow shuddering breath again that verges onto a growl. He's getting it now, he thinks, good eye frantically scanning the crowd over and over and over again. It wasn't that these people could be enemies, like Claude had pondered. After all, it was only half enemies he ever faced in the execution ring. There were others, too.
There were victims.
He tries to wait, but time doesn't feel right. Claude can't have left him for long, wouldn't have left him for long, and yet the seconds only seem to drag more and more as he stands there, and he can't... he's too.... Everything is restricted, this heavy coat across his shoulders and the hood weighing against his ears and horns. There's so much noise, and he can't- he can't- his hearing isn't working right, isn't working at its best. Trying to hold back the way he shakes, Dimitri finally gives in and reaches upwards to harshly tug the hood back until it hits his shoulders with an almost definitive smack. It exposes a bit more of him that's noticeable, that would ping any person of the church with his straightforward horns and the scar that mars one side of his face even hidden by messy hair.... but he feels almost a little better, with his ears able to hear everything un-muffled.
....Only a little.
There's still too much, too many eyes, too much soft muttering noise of voices and footsteps and clattering, too many bodies that he's not dealt with in so many years, and Dimitri struggles to pull his hand back behind his cloak. He told Ashi. He promised Claude.
He'll be good around humans. He has to be.
--
He is, perhaps, about to be tested on that.
Contrary to first impressions, someone has been paying him very close attention - albeit at a careful distance, subtly enough that even Claude would have had trouble spotting it. The hood coming down is what ultimately decides the watcher, and they begin weaving through the crowd. They're not an imposing figure, really, easily lost in the bustle, and so Dimitri probably won't notice anyone approaching until someone roughly bumps into his side.
At first, this seems like it might have been an innocent mistake, someone taking a misstep or a stumble in the general busyness of the street...but instead of them righting themselves, easing off their weight, the person instead leverages Dimitri's being thrown off-balance to push him further, not quite letting him get his feet back under him. (Honestly, if Dimitri hadn't had most of his weight on the wall behind him, and did have his feet under him, it'd probably take a carthorse to move him.) And in the space of the few feet this surprise grants, Dimitri is forced far enough along the wall that it gives out behind him, into a space between the buildings that's little more than an alley. It's a sudden oasis of shadowed quiet compared to the brightness and noise of the street...and also, somewhat worryingly, out of plain sight.
By the time Dimitri's brain catches up with current events, he might well be alarmed. But when he sees who's quite deliberately herded him down the alley...it might be hard to stay so. It's...just a teenager. Who doesn't even seem to be armed. He's built for his size, but not imposing.
What he does seem to be is absolutely bristling with aggression, and he fires off some words in the common tongue that are as loud and fast as they are hard for Dimitri to make sense of. There's a "you" in there...? And it sounds like a question, albeit the angriest question Dimitri's probably ever received. But that's probably all Dimitri can say for sure.
--
For all his tension and panic, Dimitri isn't.... actually expecting to be touched. Honestly, Claude's touches towards him are still a surprise at least 25% of the time, although that's quite a change from the beginning. The church forced him, burning magic and rough hands, but that hadn't been the same as touching. Violence is different from touching, too, and the only thing he could compare to. No one's... ever just bumped into him like this.
Dimitri's first response is still to lash out, with claw or foot, and there's almost a natural disaster as his first impulses and his desperation to be good crash into each other. The surprise, the leverage, and the mental mess all leave him stunned enough that he feels as though he.... must have blacked out. Something must have happened. When did he leave the street, and into shadow, into quiet and walls too close?
Except it's not quiet, and Dimitri regains his balance and space with a step backwards. A lot is happening, all at once. A normal person would take the opportunity to figure out just what the hell happened, and who the person in front of them is. Dimitri....
Dimitri's brain has other habits than that. Dimitri's brain especially has other habits when he's already tense, stressed, and not happy to be here, face to face with something loud and aggressive that reminds him of far worse things.
It's not even a conscious decision. The aggression gets met with further aggression as Dimitri very suddenly kicks out to get the teenager away from him before the rest of his brain crashes into another plan of action. A combination of two thoughts, "it's only a child" and "be good", jerk him around so suddenly as to be a violence all its own, and he bolts down the alley with the cloak thrown over his shoulders.
He needs, he needs- quiet. Space. He needs a second to come to terms with what's happening, and he just, he can't do that while he has this angry human in his face, making so much noise.
All of that is on top of the mundane repetitions: taking care of the horses, cleaning things in the cabin, learning to cook. Dimitri still seems a little bit uneasy about the actual cooking portion of his lessons, not trusting himself as much as Claude does, but the preparation aspects of it make him more than happy enough. Just.... living at the cabin would make him happy enough.
But they can't live at the cabin. It's not really theirs, after all, despite it being the closest comfortable sort of home. Every day they stay there, the more there's a risk of someone from the Church finding them by nothing more than pure sloppiness and coincidence. After only a few days, when Dimitri is convinced that the worst of Claude's limp has gone, so they finally finish off the most perishable of their stores and begin to pack up for the first of many long journeys.
Any nerves Dimitri has are taken up by the first couple of days of riding. While he'd managed to get used to riding on their first journey up to the cabin... A lot of that is blurry by the time he gets on Ashi once again, considering how much had been happening on that night to start with. He listens well to any corrections Claude gives, and complains about as much as he had the first time... Which is to say, not at all. The ache to his rear and tail is truly a nuisance, but Dimitri's pain tolerance is rather.... Well. It is what it is after a lifetime of being the church's personal gladiator and executioner, and thus, as long as he's not bleeding out or paralyzed by pain, he finds no reason to raise a fuss. In a way, that helps slightly. While trained horses can travel for plenty of long distances, the actual distance traveled sometimes relies on their riders, who will need more breaks. Dimitri's quick learning, and his quiet tolerance, mean they don't need to stop nearly as much... Although they probably still need to do so occasionally more than what Claude would normally.
Camping is another interesting experience. It's certainly not as enjoyable as being in the cabin... But Dimitri is fairly certain that's the only reason he notices the rougher life that comes with traveling long distances. Otherwise, well, he lived in a cage kept outside, through all weather. The things that more have his attention or his care would be figuring out the proper time to settle in for the night, helping the horses, and setting up camp. All of these are lessons he listens to with as much focus as literally everything else Claude has taught him.
Those parts.... are the enjoyable parts. Even without the comfort of the cabin. Learning things, and being with Claude- Dimitri doesn't feel he needs much else.
The less enjoyable parts... are the rare occasions when they come across others along the road.
If there's any good news, it's that none of them wear the customary colors- notably that particular burning shade of red- of the church. Most just want to get to where they're going, mind dulled from long hours of traveling. That makes it easy enough to bluff past them, especially for someone like Claude. All that really needs to be done is keep Dimitri on the other side of him, feet hidden that way, while his hands retreat back into his cloak and his head stays bowed. Theoretically, it's easy.
On a real level, it clearly stresses Dimitri out every time. It takes patient work to talk him out of his own head, calm him down, and even that doesn't really seem to do the job. Every night they settle for camp after such encounters, Dimitri doesn't seem to sleep well, as if waiting for someone to come out of the darkness.
This only becomes more noticeable as the town begins to come into view along the horizon, which means there are of course more people: farms off of the road, other roads splintering off that have their own share of travelers. Dimitri seems to get all the more withdrawn, with his feet being the only thing visible of him. It's truly a good thing Ashi is as calm a horse as he is.
--
Claude hasn't missed the toll the trip has been taking on Dimitri - though the physical toll seems to be well within the other man's ability to handle, so it's the mental toll that's worrying him. He urges Wyvern closer to Ashi as they ride, glancing sidelong at Dimitri. "You doing okay?"
--
There's a small jolt when he's spoken at, and Dimitri tries to turn his head so that he can look at Claude better. It's.... not easy to do, when he only has one hand, is trying to keep his hands hidden, and the hood is always, always, in his way. "There's... I didn't realize towns looked like this." There's also too many people- too many humans- for him to feel comfortable about.
--
"Well, it's not like they all look the same. Even if you'd seen other towns, this one might surprise you." Claude offers him a smile of reassurance. "Don't worry. Intseh aren't exactly the dominant race here, but they're common enough. Some humans are still assholes, of course, but they're not the ones in charge. Intsehli merchants are a valuable source of trade in this city, and there's Intseh citizens too - so a human causing trouble for an Intseh who's minding his own business will end up with the human in trouble with the authorities. I know it's not going to feel like it, after we've been keeping to ourselves...but you're actually safer here, surrounded by people, than we were in the cabin. You've got a city's population to blend in with, and it's not common or practical for Intseh to be discriminated against here."
--
"It doesn't feel safer." So Claude is right on that one, at least. Dimitri's fingers grind against Ashi's reins, which have done a very admirable job of not being turned into so much string with how he's been fiddling with them. The idea of seeing other Intseh again is a strange and dizzying thing, one he doesn't know how to handle, so his brain once again hides it to the side.
The more dangerous option- in his eyes if nothing else- is what takes up priority. "It's- I hadn't noticed how close the buildings had been made together, when we.... left."
--
Claude eyes the buildings, then grins as he shoots Dimitri a sly, sidelong look. He doubts what he's thinking is what Dimitri is actually worried about, but maybe some teasing will relax him. Distract him, at the very least. "Worried someone might hear us? I didn't think you made me that loud..."
--
"Loud?" It takes a second for Dimitri to understand just... what exactly Claude is referencing, still caught up in his own worries, before there's the sound of his ears scraping along the inside of his hood when they flick back. "Claude."
--
Claude laughs. "Well, I'm having a hard time thinking of what other drawbacks there are to having the houses so close together! What did you mean, if not that?"
--
"I think it is just your mind is preoccupied with that." Dimitri falls silent for a moment as they pass by someone some distance away from the roads- certainly nowhere near enough to overhear their conversation, let alone that it's in Intsehli instead of the more common tongues around here, but Dimitri has been cautious that way. Much more cautious than is even really needed as he looks to either side of the road, shoulders hunched.
"...At any rate. Everything being close... means that people will be close as well. We've run into so many on the way there already...."
--
"Running into people isn't going to matter here that much, Dimitri," Claude says soothingly. "People are used to Intseh here, and the church doesn't like this place for being so inclusive to Intseh so its loyalists don't come here much. Not that many people are going to give you a second glance, and the ones who do won't be looking because they recognize you." He chuckles. "It'll mostly be because you're massive and muscular and look kind of terrifying."
--
If anything, that only seems to make Dimitri retreat into his cloak all the further, and he bites down on his tongue. Growling upsets Ashi, after all, even for a horse as patient as him. So instead, he's.... fallen into a slightly worse habit, not wanting to frighten his horse but unable to stop himself without some sort of physical barrier in place. That barrier being his teeth.
He needs a second before he can unlatch them from his tongue. "But they'll still be there. And I... I don't think I like that." It's fine when it's Claude. It's fine when it's Claude alone especially. But more people just.... He can't stop himself from getting tense, every time. And that's just been strangers they've been passing on the road so far.
--
"Mm...so it's more than just whether or not they're potential threats, huh?" Claude studies him. He's leading them to a stable where they can board their horses, for a fee; he's used it before, and he trusts them. He wouldn't leave Wyvern in any hands he didn't trust.
--
"I know they're not...." Except then he can't finish that sentence. Can't, because the presence of more people as they venture closer to the stable puts him on edge again. Can't, because it doesn't feel right in his mouth the way any other simple honest truth does.
Are they still potential threats? That's not right either. Not entirely. It feels as though there's still something he's missing when it comes to his own reactions. He just can't understand what the missing piece is.
"I don't know," he says, voice a quiet growl he can't quite stop and which he follows up with a quick rub of Ashi's neck.
--
"It's okay," Claude murmurs, now riding so close that his leg is almost brushing Dimitri's. "You haven't had the chance to be around other people yet who treat you like a normal person. Who don't want to hurt you. So you're probably going to be on edge around people until you do experience that, and get used to it. So...it'll feel uncomfortable at first, and I don't think there's any way to make it not uncomfortable...but it'll fade more and more, the more you do it."
Then he gives Dimitri a sidelong grin and a wink. "Kind of like my toy, I guess. You just have to keep doing it until it starts feeling good."
--
If not for what's required on the leg front to ride a horse without falling off, Dimitri would probably be curled up entirely on top of Ashi. It's hard to say if Claude's teasing makes that entire bit worse or not. There's just certainly a silent hiss of, "Please stop acting as though you want to have sex in public!"
That's all he'll dare to say once they're too close to the stable, however. For all that Intseh might be more common in this town, he still keeps himself tucked away, glancing around uneasily. If he just sits there, seeing nothing, he thinks he might only work himself up even further.
--
Claude laughs. "You know, everything I've said has been totally within the realm of plausible deniability~. You're the one who mentioned the s-word..." He pulls Wyvern up in front of the stable, sliding off with some measure of relief. He's mostly better, but a week of riding isn't a joke under any circumstances and the lingering ache has definitely woken up under such abuse to complain. "But if you insist, I'll behave."
--
"You brought up your sex toy...." Why is he the one always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to these sort of conversations? Dimitri truly doesn't understand. At least, after a week of riding and camping, he does understand how to get off of his horse properly now, and his movements are a little smoother than the night they first arrived at the cabin. He keeps a hold of Ashi's reins, staying near to his horse as he looks around them.
"....Are we staying the night in the town...?"
--
"I never said what kind of toy it was," Claude says innocently. "And yes. We might stay a few days, actually. The horses need the rest, I have some contacts to make, and more than anything else, we need supplies. Staying a few days means we won't just be stuck with whatever the merchants have to offer on the one day we're here; you never know when they'll restock with some nice finds."
--
He was rather afraid Claude would say something like that.
"I suppose.... you will not let me stay in Mahtashi's stable stall." Ashi makes him feel better. Or, perhaps it's less that the horse in particular makes him feel better, but that he offers up the perfect distraction to Dimitri. He has to watch so much of himself when it comes to the horse, in a way that feels immediate and gets through to his mind. There's also just so much of what he needs to watch out for in general when it comes to horsecare.
...And, more importantly, it would keep him out of the town that he's come to dread more and more.
--
"No, Dimitri." Claude's voice is patient, but resolute. "I told you, this is only going to stay miserable until you start experiencing it and adjusting to it. If you avoid dealing with towns, then it's always going to feel like this being in them. But if you push through, it's going to start to get easier. I know it's not easy...but I also know you've managed things a lot worse than this." He stands beside Wyvern, holding his reins. "You can do this."
--
"I feel as though.... if my worst is near death experiences.... That should not be allowed as an excuse." His bar is already as low as it can go. Dimitri lets out a slow breath, jaw and a bit more of his body feeling too stiff.
--
"Exactly how close to that do you think this will be?" Claude asks, with an amused smile on his lips. He holds out a hand to Dimitri. "Come on, they'll take care of Wyvern and Ashi at this stable while we go get a room at an inn."
--
If he's honest with what he really thinks, then too close for comfort. For now, Dimitri just doesn't offer a response- telling on its own- before he briefly turns back to Ashi. Gently, he takes the horse by the face and presses close to him. "We will both be good around humans," he murmurs, like it's a promise, before he lets go. The hood still stays up, and he holds himself close.... but, warily, he reaches out to accept Claude's hand.
--
Ashi makes a low, soft noise, rubbing his head against Dimitri's slightly. Claude, meanwhile, tugs gently at Dimitri's hand. "Come on, let's take them in."
--
All it takes is that slight of a tug for Dimitri to stick close to Claude as much as he'd been sticking close to his horse. He still feels uneasy, which is unfortunate in how this translates to a slightly more tense and aggressive air than he's displayed in, well.... The entire time him and Claude have known each other once again.
"Do we just put them in, and what do we do afterwards...?"
--
Claude, observing Dimitri's attitude, makes an executive decision. "I'll take them in," he declares, taking Ashi's reins from Dimitri. "I pay the owner of the stables, and he puts our horses up while we're in the city. That includes having his hired help take care of them - feeding, grooming, plus some early morning and late evening exercising. Afterwards, like I said, we'll go get rooms at an inn."
--
"Mm." It's a slightly lower sound, leaning more towards the rough edge of a growl without quite getting there, although Dimitri surrenders Ashi's reins easily enough. He has nothing on which to pay someone for literally anything, goods or services either, so this is probably for the better. Yet that still.... "Do you want me to help with retrieving things from their saddles?" He's not sure what else he's to do otherwise.
--
"We'll just take the bags themselves with us. You can carry Ashi's, sure, but I can get them off myself easily enough." Claude shrugs and smiles. "But the way I see it, you either have to come inside and brave the people in there, or wait here and brave the people on the streets. You're not going to have a lot of good options for total avoidance here, even if you want them."
--
So, in other words, all of his options are terrible. Dimitri doesn't answer immediately, instead using his free hand to begin removing the bags off of Ashi's saddle. It gives him some time to weighs the pros and cons of both situations, now that he has to face them and can't run away. Eventually, holding a bag close to his chest, he glances up at Claude before slowly looking away again.
"....I'll wait out here." He doesn't like leaving Claude alone. Doesn't like being alone, himself. But the feeling of having a sky over his head, and plenty of room to move... He does like that. If he were in a smaller space, around so many others he doesn't know.... Dimitri isn't sure how he'd act but he's well aware that violence would be on the table. If he accidentally hurt Claude....
....He doesn't want to think about that.
His gaze goes back to Claude, briefly. "...It won't take long, will it?"
--
"Probably not." Claude winks at him. "Don't worry, I've got it all under control. I'm pretty well-liked here, for an Almyran." And, before Dimitri can unpack those words, Claude is walking away, Wyvern and Ashi in tow, leaving him alone on the street.
Well, 'alone' except for all the other people on the street. Of which there are plenty. Fortunately, aside from a glance or two, no one seems to be taking an undue amount of interest in Dimitri.
--
There is sure a lot to unpack there. Dimitri has questions, or perhaps just one in particular, but Claude is gone in a heartbeat, and it's just... him. Him, and an entire town. His hands retreat back behind his cloak, drawing it closed, and he looks around, quickly, before pulling back close to a wall with his back to it.
It was only when he was younger that he ever had his back to the wall, literally. He'd been more frantic, then. More desperate to find another solution, because that couldn't be his fate, could it? To have another's blood on his hands, that.... His parents had always been so serious about it, made sure to correct any bad influences immediately, and they had always been careful to talk to him about death. Perhaps they had talked about humans in such conversations, although Dimitri can't remember clearly now. But he had remembered, back then, how serious his father had been about it. How much he had tried to beg the other party to stop. How much he had tried to force a non-lethal match, when begging didn't work.
How his brand had burned, worse than new, worse than skin-deep, and he'd woken up sick with blood in his mouth.
It's been a long time since then, since he'd surrendered, experimented, and then surrendered again in an entirely different way. Now- then? Then, when he was still executioner, which he is no longer- he's not bothered to let his back get to that point ever again. Now that he's doing it again, he feels.... It's....
His claws twitch into the cloak's lining, and he lets out a slow shuddering breath again that verges onto a growl. He's getting it now, he thinks, good eye frantically scanning the crowd over and over and over again. It wasn't that these people could be enemies, like Claude had pondered. After all, it was only half enemies he ever faced in the execution ring. There were others, too.
There were victims.
He tries to wait, but time doesn't feel right. Claude can't have left him for long, wouldn't have left him for long, and yet the seconds only seem to drag more and more as he stands there, and he can't... he's too.... Everything is restricted, this heavy coat across his shoulders and the hood weighing against his ears and horns. There's so much noise, and he can't- he can't- his hearing isn't working right, isn't working at its best. Trying to hold back the way he shakes, Dimitri finally gives in and reaches upwards to harshly tug the hood back until it hits his shoulders with an almost definitive smack. It exposes a bit more of him that's noticeable, that would ping any person of the church with his straightforward horns and the scar that mars one side of his face even hidden by messy hair.... but he feels almost a little better, with his ears able to hear everything un-muffled.
....Only a little.
There's still too much, too many eyes, too much soft muttering noise of voices and footsteps and clattering, too many bodies that he's not dealt with in so many years, and Dimitri struggles to pull his hand back behind his cloak. He told Ashi. He promised Claude.
He'll be good around humans. He has to be.
--
He is, perhaps, about to be tested on that.
Contrary to first impressions, someone has been paying him very close attention - albeit at a careful distance, subtly enough that even Claude would have had trouble spotting it. The hood coming down is what ultimately decides the watcher, and they begin weaving through the crowd. They're not an imposing figure, really, easily lost in the bustle, and so Dimitri probably won't notice anyone approaching until someone roughly bumps into his side.
At first, this seems like it might have been an innocent mistake, someone taking a misstep or a stumble in the general busyness of the street...but instead of them righting themselves, easing off their weight, the person instead leverages Dimitri's being thrown off-balance to push him further, not quite letting him get his feet back under him. (Honestly, if Dimitri hadn't had most of his weight on the wall behind him, and did have his feet under him, it'd probably take a carthorse to move him.) And in the space of the few feet this surprise grants, Dimitri is forced far enough along the wall that it gives out behind him, into a space between the buildings that's little more than an alley. It's a sudden oasis of shadowed quiet compared to the brightness and noise of the street...and also, somewhat worryingly, out of plain sight.
By the time Dimitri's brain catches up with current events, he might well be alarmed. But when he sees who's quite deliberately herded him down the alley...it might be hard to stay so. It's...just a teenager. Who doesn't even seem to be armed. He's built for his size, but not imposing.
What he does seem to be is absolutely bristling with aggression, and he fires off some words in the common tongue that are as loud and fast as they are hard for Dimitri to make sense of. There's a "you" in there...? And it sounds like a question, albeit the angriest question Dimitri's probably ever received. But that's probably all Dimitri can say for sure.
--
For all his tension and panic, Dimitri isn't.... actually expecting to be touched. Honestly, Claude's touches towards him are still a surprise at least 25% of the time, although that's quite a change from the beginning. The church forced him, burning magic and rough hands, but that hadn't been the same as touching. Violence is different from touching, too, and the only thing he could compare to. No one's... ever just bumped into him like this.
Dimitri's first response is still to lash out, with claw or foot, and there's almost a natural disaster as his first impulses and his desperation to be good crash into each other. The surprise, the leverage, and the mental mess all leave him stunned enough that he feels as though he.... must have blacked out. Something must have happened. When did he leave the street, and into shadow, into quiet and walls too close?
Except it's not quiet, and Dimitri regains his balance and space with a step backwards. A lot is happening, all at once. A normal person would take the opportunity to figure out just what the hell happened, and who the person in front of them is. Dimitri....
Dimitri's brain has other habits than that. Dimitri's brain especially has other habits when he's already tense, stressed, and not happy to be here, face to face with something loud and aggressive that reminds him of far worse things.
It's not even a conscious decision. The aggression gets met with further aggression as Dimitri very suddenly kicks out to get the teenager away from him before the rest of his brain crashes into another plan of action. A combination of two thoughts, "it's only a child" and "be good", jerk him around so suddenly as to be a violence all its own, and he bolts down the alley with the cloak thrown over his shoulders.
He needs, he needs- quiet. Space. He needs a second to come to terms with what's happening, and he just, he can't do that while he has this angry human in his face, making so much noise.