dinner for two

[warmskies]

"So, theoretically, on account of me dating your brother," Tsuna starts off, "how much of a discount would I get if I asked you for something that's sort of like a job?"

From where she's been cleaning the dishes on Nana's behalf, Bianchi pauses. Unlike back in Tsuna's middle school days, the hitwoman doesn't stay in the house as much. She's an adult, after all, with a fiance, and a reputation to uphold in the underworld, and a family that really needs a heir since Hayato is no longer a choice. It's been a long time since she's been able to sit down with all of them and enjoy one of Nana's homecooked meals... which means that Tsuna has had to wait a little while to ask her this particular question. Very carefully, she turns the water off with clear interest and sets the plate she was working on to the side. It's only as she starts to wipe her hands with a dishtowel does she speak up. "My prices tend to vary," Bianchi says, cool as lettuce. "I take into consideration travel fare, obstacles in the way of my target, and how much reputation they may have with political or criminal figures." A pause, and she gives the faintest hint of a smile. "But family do get discounts, even if it's a brother in law." 

"Oh. That's good to know."  Tsuna is pretty sure that's a true statement that just came out of his mouth. Fairly sure. By this point, near to finishing his high school life, he's dedicated himself to accepting his role as the newest Vongola don. With that in mind, it's probably a fairly sensible idea to get an indepth idea of how much one would theoretically need to pay off an assassin. It's not that he plans on ever having to do that, but he should probably know about it regardless. "Um, but this isn't about a hit job." 

Pausing with her hand resting the dishtowel, Bianchi stares at him before her eyes light up. Tsuna's stomach drops in uneasiness even before she eagerly and tentatively suggests, "Cooking?"

"I'm afraid not that, either." Times like this make Tsuna glad he's grown up a little since his middle school days. If this were the old him, still doggy paddling through the tsunami of outrageous mafia nonsense (which was mostly Reborn nonsense at the beginning, he realizes), he's sure that he would have yelped or gotten flustered or maybe a little bit green. Which... isn't the kind of thing he wants to pull in front of someone like Bianchi. Reaching up, he scratches at the back of his neck uncertainly. "It's actually... Kind of a babysitting job...?"

One of these days, he'll be really impressed how fast some of his friend's (and others) expressions can switch. From professional to gushingly hopeful to narrow eyed suspicion, all the rate of... It's only been a few minutes, right? "I thought you grew out of trying to run away from chores..." 

This time, Tsuna really does fluster up. "It's not that!" he yelps, hands rising up defensively in front of himself. "It's not, it really is not! I just wanted to see if maybe you could watch over the kids because I wanted to take my mom out to dinner!" 

Speaking his mom's name is, as usual, the one thing guaranteed to stop anyone that's ever lived in his house. Well, his mom's house. Bianchi eases up, not so suspicious and annoyed now. "That's a change of pace... Usually you're the type who prefers to have a meal at home, since you're otherwise too lazy to want to go outside." 

A grimace crosses his face. "Can't you at least say I'm too busy for that sort of thing...? And anyway, whenever I go outside to have a good time, that raises the chances of me getting dragged into some sort of horrible mafia mess." 

Outside in the yard, a grenade explodes. 

To the immense credit of her grace, Bianchi doesn't say anything. She only watches with simple raised eyebrows while Tsuna drags both of his hands down his face before he turns towards the door frame. "Just... Please give me a second," he says, feeling exhausted even without having to confront anything yet. It takes him around five minutes to hunt down where Lambo is trying to hide in the laundry basket. Four of those minutes are Fuuta and I-Pin tattling on him, and a whole minute scolding him on how he knows he's not supposed to use grenades near the house anymore. By the time he gets back, Bianchi has finished the dishes, and is setting up some coffee for herself. "So, what was I saying?" he asks, rubbing at his eyes. 

"A babysitting job," Bianchi says, fingers framed around her coffee deceivingly delicate. "I asked why."

"Oh, right." Sitting down at the table himself, Tsuna tries to focus back on the conversation he'd been distracted from. "Anyway... I just want to treat her to something, you know?" He crosses his arms on the table, rubbing one finger along the smooth wooden surface. "While I still can." Becoming the don of the Vongola means moving to Italy, because you can't rule a Family while you're across an entire other continent and a small sea to boot. His dad hardly ever visits or keeps in contact as it is with his mom. Tsuna definitely plans on calling regularly, but... That's not the same thing as seeing her every day. It's not the same thing as being able to see her every day. 

Across from him, Bianchi says nothing. Not at first. After a few seconds, however, he hears the sound of liquid steaming out from a spout, and looks up to see her setting a cupt of coffee in front of him. "I think this is a job I can accept," she says, smiling gently. "I've finished my most recent hit within Japan, so I can spend some more time doing what I like... So, fortunately for you, I can take this on pro bono." 

Nothing about her response is necessarily a surprise, and yet relief still drips through the whole of him. "Bianchi... It really means a lot to me." 

Wearing an air of cool aloofness, she takes up her own cup again and leans against the table. "It's the least I can do for Maman. Now, come on, drink up. You'll need energy to properly plan a night out, won't you?"

Even as Bianchi takes a gulp of her coffee, Tsuna stares down at his own and keeps his trepidation hidden deep away where she won't see its offensive existence. On the surface, it looks perfectly fine and warm. However... He's more than aware of how things made by her hand can go poisonous real quickly. 

But not drinking it means he'd probably die in an entirely different way. Tsuna gulps. Well, he doubts he's getting anything done tonight...






Everyone in the Sawada household, save for the person actually paying the bills, is capable of taking care of themselves from everything from home intrusion to basic laundry skills. At the age of five, Lambo got electrocuted by an assassin and came out of it as obnoxious as ever. Tsuna regularly has to go to the primary school to talk down teachers, principals, and other kids' parents because I-Pin has no qualms in standing up to anyone bothering her or other people. Fuuta both doesn't antagonize other people or seek out fights, but years of avoiding various mafia Families looking to take advantage of a smart kid means learning how to deal with them... Usually with running away or traps carefully tailored to their abilities, or lack thereof. And that's just the actual children in the house. 

After the last attempted robbery a few years ago, they haven't had any more attempts with what Reborn did to them. 

Despite all of these facts, Nana still takes an extra ten minutes fussing over everything with Bianchi when she should be out the door. "So, all you need to do is get the rice out of the cooker when the alarm goes off, and heat up everything else, and dinner should be perfectly ready," she says. Worried, she begins to count off her fingers. "Ah, let's see then, so that's Lambo and I-Pin's homework, Fuuta's project for his school club, emergency numbers if you need me... Bed time, dinner..." 

At long last, Tsuna finally reaches over to take his mom by the hand gently so that he can pull her away. "I think Bianchi understands, Mom," he says. Sure enough, the redhead is looking fairly amused as she waves them off. "It'll be alright." 

"I'll take care of them, Maman," Bianchi tells her breezily, undeniably fond. "So just enjoy yourself, alright?"

"I suppose I really should, shouldn't I?" Nana asks as the pair of them make their way down the street, fingertips at her cheeks and a sigh rustling out of her. It's not a bad afternoon for a stroll, honestly. High over their heads, the sky is awash in achingly warm oranges and yellows which turns even that at its farthest reach a lonesome green. A perfect match for the temperature, which is just cool enough to make walking enjoyable. "After all, it's not often that you do things like this, Tsu-kun, so I know I should enjoy it. And I know Bianchi-chan would never let anything happen..." 

"But it's still hard to leave them on their own?" Tsuna asks, tone half suggesting. While he's not his mother, he can still guess well enough. After all, he knows even more than her how troublesome those trio can be when no one is watching them close enough...

"I suppose so." Nana lets out another sigh before she lightly pats her cheeks and beams. "But I'm already out of the house so now all that's left to do is trust you and Bianchi-chan, Tsu-kun! So, where did you plan on taking me to? You said we wouldn't need to get any money for transportation, so I suppose it wouldn't be that far, mm?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Tsuna blinks up at the sky. "Ah, no, not really. I mean, it's nothing too fancy... It's TakeSushi, you know?" 

Laughter bubbles out of his mom. "Well, it would be a lot to ask for somewhere fancy from a high school student with a part time salary!"

"Ha ha, yeah..." With his very best efforts, Tsuna manages to keep his shoulders from slumping. Honestly, it would probably be pretty easy to go full ham for a night out. Since he's properly accepted the role of becoming the Vongola's heir and entering high school, he's honestly been getting a small monthly allowance from the Ninth's people. Well, even if they told him 'small' in the letters, it's still an absurd amount of money for a high schooler like him. If he asked for any more, after years of being quietly polite and not asking for anything, well, Tsuna is sure that the Ninth wouldn't have a problem with it. However, he'd really rather not, even with the option available to him. Frankly, sometimes he's not even sure what he's going to do with the money he already has, besides buying things for the kids and the occasional game or food for himself. Frankly, he feels a little criminal having so much money.

 ...Oh. Right. 

As expected, TakeSushi is a bustling and busy place on a weekend. There's no one in the neighborhood oblivious to the taste. Tsuna lingers near the entrance for a second, only managing a brief second to frantically wave a greeting over to where he sees Yamamoto helping wait tables. It's hard to tell, with all the people, if he responds in any way, but Tsuna knows for a fact that he's been seen. After all, Yamamoto is the person who managed to get the (reluctant, back-handed, screaming) compliments of the greatest swordsman in the entire world. He can trust in his boyfriend's eyes. 

"Trying to distract my only server from his job, huh?" Jumping a little, Tsuna turns around to face Tsuyoshi properly. 

"Sorry-" 

"It's fine, it's fine!" Laughing boisterously, Tsuyoshi wastes no time in dumping an enormous and heavy set of wooden bento boxes into his hands. Tsuna is pretty sure that he didn't place an order for enough that would threaten to tower over his head... "I'd greet you and your mother more properly, but I have to hurry back to work! the food won't make itself! So give her my regards, alright?" 

"Y-Yes, Yamamoto-san," Tsuna says, trying and failing to peer around the boxes. How is he going to get out the front door like this? "We'll bring back the boxes tonight, so maybe then!" He's not really sure what the older man says in response to that, if he says anything. Not even hyper intuition can beat out the crowded chatter of a filled-to-bursting sushi restaurant on a weekend night. 

Outside the restaurant is almost hardly any better, although it has the benefit of being in an open street instead of a small dining space. His mom is right where he left her, already having attracted a small gathering of ladies he thinks he's seen around the neighborhood. When he exits out of TakeSushi, his mom almost immediately notices and points him out to the others. Some of them raise their eyebrows a little bit, only to erupt into laughter as his mom bounces away with a waved farewell. "Do I even want to know what you guys were talking about...?"

Nana giggles into her hands. "Oh, I was just telling them that I was being taken for a night out by a handsome young man." 

"Mom!" 

"What, I can't boast about how much my son has grown over the past few years?" Giggling even more, she reaches over to poke one finger into his cheek. She can say that he's grown all she wants, but Tsuna is pretty sure he hasn't grown very much at all, especially in comparison to his friends. He's still as short as ever, just like his mom who can so easily tease him this way. "A handsome young man with so many friends~. Although the grades really could be better..." 

Tsuna groans. He knows two different languages besides Japanese now, and yet high school math still makes him struggle. "Moooooom!" 

This time, however... She doesn't respond so immediately. It's enough to make Tsuna immediately glance over to her from the corner of his eye, and he almost pauses as he takes in the soft expression on her face. It's hard for him to describe. Nostalgic? Melancholy? There's a smile on her face, but it's so different than the ones he's seen before where she's bursting with light. Before he can ask about it, Nana lets out a slow breath. "Well, I'm glad that you could get to that point." There's something else beneath her words, details that haven't been offered to him yet, but then Nana gives him a beaming smile just as she usually does. "So where are we going now, Tsu-kun? You said it would be somewhere really nice to eat outdoors, but can you really see where you're going like that?" With her lips stuck out in an exaggerated pout, Nana squints at him. "Should I take some of the boxes?"

Well, they can talk about that kind of thing later, he thinks. For now, Tsuna blinks back at the armful of bento boxes he has in his grip and adjusts them as best he can. "Oh, uh, no, I think I should be fine. But if you could make sure that we don't get too off track, that would be really helpful, Mom." 

"You have no need to worry!" With all the cheer befitting more a genki girl like Haru, she pumps her fists together cheerfully. He hadn't thought that this night out would get her so excited, but apparently he's being proven wrong every few minutes. "Just tell me where we're going, and I'll be sure to get us there in no time, Tsu-kun. As a mother, I can guide a trip no problem!" 

He's not entirely sure what that means... But Tsuna guesses it doesn't matter. His mom is at least true to her word, helping get him through the streets while he navigates temporarily blinded by bento. Soon enough, they're making their way up the stone steps of a small temple area, and he heaves out a relieved breath as he puts the boxes down on the ground. Reborn has put him through worse training, sure. That doesn't mean he likes wandering around with boxes of sushi and no sight. Yet it's worth it when he settles down on the grass and looks out into the sight stretched out before him. 

Namimori is and always has been a relatively small town. For a lot of people, he knows it's just a blip on the map, or a place to pass through. None of them are entirely wrong, either. With the sun having since set behind the mountains, the lights within the town make the place glow, lighting it up against night's overwhelming grasp. They're a comforting beacon, nestled in this little patch of forest and plains and mountains. Yet it's all still so small. From up where he is, seated near the temple, it feels as though he could reach out and cradle those lights in his hands... Like catching fireflies. 

He almost wishes he could. Even with how much everything has changed over the last few years, with his world turned upside down at the age of thirteen, he'd rather Namimori never be touched. 

...Well. He guesses he doesn't have to worry. Not when it's a tiny sleep town that happens to be under the protection of its own nigh-mythological guardian beast, one Hibari Kyoya. 

"Tsu-kun!" Blinking out of his reverie, Tsuna turns his head to look up at his mom only for his cheek to immediately get warped. Pinching fingers drag his face up a little bit. "Don't just sit on the grass like that! You packed a blanket for us to sit on, now, didn't you?"

"Moooooom!" The whine drags out of him even as he lets himself be pulled up by his cheek. She's not pinching that hard, and he could break free really easily if he wanted... but Tsuna goes along with it, shoulders slumping. It's nice to just be a high schooler, sometimes. Frankly, it's a lot better than the alternative. "I just finished going up all those stairs lugging those boxes around. Can't I catch my break for just a minute?"

Laughing slightly at his melodramatics, Nana lets his cheek go.  "Not when you want to impress a lady!"

"The lady is my mom." 

Nana keeps talking as if he didn't say anything at all. "When you're taking the lead with someone, you need to put your best foot forward! There's no slouching there." She taps her cheek a little bit, an idle rhythm. "Well, you've gotten quite a lot of attractive types around you as it is... Perhaps I just haven't been seeing your best foot all this while?"

Groaning and dragging his hands down his face, Tsuna goes, "I get it, I get it, I'll start laying out the blanket!" He made sure that was part of what he paid for tonight, after all, with Yamamoto's dad being more than obliging on that front. Maybe it's because he's dating his son. Although if he thinks about that, then he has to think about the talk he had with Bianchi, and oh boy... When he was young and more prone to jealousy, he had always kind of assumed that playboys got a lot of benefits besides dating pretty and handsome people, but he hadn't assumed he'd ever be in a similar position. Not that, uh... Well, obviously he loves everyone, this isn't the same thing, but he's just... 

It's probably not as much of a problem despite the way he keeps poking at it mentally, spreading out the blanket for himself and his mom. For all her teasing, Nana is helping out too, carefully setting some of the boxes or their lids on top of the corners so that a stray wind doesn't have it go flapping everywhere. The forecast had said that it would be a calm night... Still, better safe than sorry. That's probably a mom sort of thing to think. There's a sort of peace in their organization, and, for all that he whined and complained only a few minutes before, Tsuna finds it comfortable.

 ...And not just because there's no bickering between three different children. Or ill-advised martial arts displays. Or the threat of live explosives. Those definitely contribute to the overall peace, however. Tsuna would be a liar if he said otherwise. 

When the two of them finally settle down on the blanket to start working through the bento, a wave of nostalgia washes over him. With his mom beaming as she works through the food, and him just settled there... It's not the comfort of their kitchen, and yet it feels, for the first time in a long while, as if he's thirteen again. Thirteen and just a nobody of a kid, existing like a normal teenager with less than normal grades, in the terms of how much they sucked. Not a lot had been great, when he thinks back on it, but it had been... stable. Steady. Rubbing some of the sticky rice residue inbetween his fingers, Tsuna looks back out towards Namimori's tiny little expanse once again. 

"Aaah, it's so nice to eat outside!" Nana sighs, tilting her head to the side. "I wouldn't have thought about doing it at any time besides a nice summer day or during flower viewing, but there's some thing really serene about eating outside at night, huh, Tsu-kun?"

Serene is definitely a word for it. There's no one else in sight around them when Tsuna looks before he returns his stare to his mom so that he can smile. "Mm, yeah. And it's been a long time since it's just been the two of us, right?"

Somehow, that almost seems to surprise her judging by the way her eyes go wide and blink a few times. "Oh? You're not wrong." Her head tilts back, fingers pressed together. "Reborn-kun, Lambo-kun, I-pin-chan, Fuuta-kun, and even Bianchi-chan when she comes to visit... Our little home has been so lively!"

"Ah... ha... That's definitely one way to put it," is all he can say, still remembering on how he had to confiscate grenades from a small child only a week ago. Shaking his head, Tsuna glances over at her from beneath his bangs. Getting sidetracked by the daily challenges of his regular life isn't what he's here for. "Hey, mom...?"

She's already in the middle of picking up another bit of sushi, and glances up at him with a smile. "Mm, what is it, Tsu-kun?""

"After high school... I'm going to be moving out of Japan. For a new job that I have arranged." 

There are a lot of reactions he's expecting from his mother, a lot of them loud. Yet even as he's staring over at her, waiting for a response... All she does is smile down at her own hands. That same bittersweet smile that he can remember getting a glimpse of on the way up here. "I see." Two words have never been more mysterious, and dozens of questions bubble up on the back of his tongue... Yet Tsuna keeps quiet, somehow. Instead, he just waits, brows drawn together as his mom quietly pulls together words of her own. "Well... You are becoming an adult, aren't you? You've been becoming an adult for a long time now, always when it felt like I wasn't looking. It's only normal for someone who's become an adult to go off on his own, even if sometimes that ends up to be very far away. I was thinking not that long ago that this would happen..." 

It's what she says, at any rate. However, even as he watches her put the sushi back into the box, Tsuna can't help but feel like he isn't seeing that actions of someone who has really resolved herself to it. Is that only his inexperience? While he's seen a lot of people's will ever since he got roped into the mafia life, those have often been in the context of battles. Maybe he's just... reading things wrong.

 ...Maybe it's just uncomfortable to be thinking this sort of thing about his own mother. 

"So is it with your father?" Blinking out of his thoughts, Tsuna stares blankly at his mom, who just laughs softly at his reaction. It's not a sound that has her full heart into it. "Your job, Tsu-kun! Is it working alongside your father? Since you said it was out of Japan." 

"No," he says, maybe a little too quickly. Actually, no, definitely too quickly... Tsuna's nose wrinkles somewhat. "Well, it's not... I can't say it doesn't have nothing to do with him..." Whether he likes it or not, they're both in the mafia, and a part of the same mafia Family. That could possibly not have been true before, when Tsuna was oblivious to the truth of his father's work... but he's always been tied to the Vongola because of his blood, diluted as it might be. What a troublesome, pain in his ass father... Although he guesses if he goes with that thinking, then he'd be cursing out the entirety of his paternal lineage. "Rather... I guess you could say that I got it from someone that he knows who approached me on his own." Well, it's something like that. Going into the specifics would be too difficult on so many levels.

At least it seems to satisfy his mom, who tries to brighten up her smile a little more. It doesn't really change much, but the effort alone is... "Aaah, that doesn't surprise me at all, Tsu-kun. You've really been blossoming since you entered high school! I was worried for a while until then!" 

Just by her tone alone, Tsuna can tell that she's ramping up. That smile might not be bright right now, and yet that can easily change in just a minute if he lets her get rolling. So, quickly, he interrupts with, "When I was still new in middle school, right?" 

There's that wide eyed set of blinks again- good, he's knocked her off balance from mom-like gushing. Truly that is the kind of experience he's gained in life or death battles. "Ah... Mhm, that's right." Some of that cheer starts to shimmer down, and her fingers lace together. "I was always worrying about how well you would do..." 

"Yeah..." There's an urge to draw his legs up a little bit that Tsuna has to resist, and he curls his fingers into the blanket instead. It's good. Grounding. "I was worried too, back then." It's true, even though the way his mom briefly stares at him hints at her surprise. He smiles back, not blaming her for it at all. "But I guess things turned out alright... I think I've worked out something important. Or at least... It's something I've been trying to keep in mind, and that I don't want to forget as I keep growing."

It's maybe a little vague, saying it like that, so he can't blame her for tilting her head to the side curiously. "Something important?"

"Yeah. And it's that... If I were to die, suddenly-" 

"Tsu-kun!" 

"I'm just saying!" Frantically, he raises up his hands defensively as if that will protect him from the looming force of a worried mother. "Like if something really bad happened, or I lost the ability to do something- stuff like that! Not literally, not literally!" Well, it's kind of literally, but that is 100% not the right thing to say in the moment. "I want to live a life where I'm not... having any real regrets, you know?" He waits for another moment, waiting for Nana to slowly back off instead of leaning right into his space indignantly. When he's sure she's calmed down a little bit, he continues on. "It's kind of taken a while for me to really realize how important it is to not... be scared, I guess. There were a lot of things I didn't want to try, because I wasn't sure of the outcome. But if I keep holding myself back like that, then I'll miss really important things, and it will only be my own fault." Slowly, he takes in a deep breath, feeling the air slowly stretch out through his lungs. It's a reassuring and distant sort of ache. "So... That's why I wanted to have this dinner with you. I don't know when something might happen after I leave, you know? So it could be.. a really long time until I'm able to sit and talk with you like this." With his life being what it is... 

Tsuna can't discount that it might be "never". 

So much in his life, he's done a lot of things which he's kept secret from his mom. Little things, like that time he thought he was going to have to sneak a dead body out of his room, and big things, like basically every single crisis to the Vongola that he's experienced since he was thirteen. Yet right now, as he sits there besides his mother, she doesn't look away at all. Instead, those large brown eyes, the same that have been passed down to him, stay focused only on Tsuna himself and nothing else. There are no smiles this time, bright or bittersweet, only a quiet attention that feels so strange. So rare. For a brief moment, in this pit of his heart, it feels as though he could tell her everything he's experienced. It feels as though it could be okay to tell her everything. 

It wouldn't, honestly. Not so haphazardly and suddenly, at the very least. For those who keep getting dragged into the Vongola's messes, like Haru and Kyoko, he's learned how important it is to be so clear in his honesty, but none of them were his mother. None of them have unknowingly been married to a mafioso for years. If this is a conversation he's ever going to have with his mom, he'll have to speak with his father about it, unfortunately. Even for as much as he doesn't get along with the man, doesn't like him much at all, this is still a matter of family and Family. Tsuna isn't cruel enough to just spring it on even him without any forewarning. 

...But still. Still. With the two of them seated here together, night's comforting weight spread over them, silence like a wall between them and the rest of the world, as his mom just listens... It feels like he could reveal everything. 

His mom breaks the silence first, her soft tone a ripple in the air. "Was it difficult, then?"

"Mm... Yeah." He lets out a slow breath, focusing on the sensation of it trickling out from the bottom of his lungs to between his teeth. "Especially when I was younger. It was..." Hesitation grips him then, and Tsuna comes to a pause. He's been thinking over the words he would tell her for days, now. Practicing them. It's not the first time he's ever had to do it, either, with school projects occasionally needing him up front or the clubs Reborn has shoved him into wanting proposals- even his inevitable ascent into being the tenth Vongola boss proper will require him to speak and he's basically guaranteed to practice some things on that. This isn't new... so why is he struggling to say anything now to his mom? What on earth could be actually holding him back? 

It doesn't actually occur to him how much time has passed with him completely silent up until his mom's touch lightly brushes against his hair, and Tsuna starts a little bit. "Hey, Tsu-kun... You can take as much time as you want, okay?" 

"Oh..." All he can do for a second is blink at her, but then the moment passes, and he exchanges a quiet smile with her. "Oh. Right." He doesn't have to force it out, does he? Of course it would be difficult saying anything in this moment. Why did he think otherwise? 

She's his mom. 

Together, the two of them move through their dinner in silence, letting it rest in between. Minute by minute, bit by bit, the trepidation squeezing in on his ribs and lungs seems to loosen away into nothingness. "When I was just starting to be a teenager," he finally gets out, staring out into Namimori's welcoming glow, "it didn't feel like there was a lot that was really worth... being around for, I guess." Now that he's able to get them out, the words don't seem to stop at all. They continue to pour out, not as a dam broken but a steady trickle from a sink unclogged. "I didn't think I was miserable, I mean- there were nice things that I liked. Eating dinner with you, playing video games... Stuff like that." There's no reason to mention anything about how Kyoko being cute and nice and bright enough to punch a kendo captain had his heart fluttering and kept him going to school at all. For all that he's being open, there's no reason to be embarrassing about it. "But most of the time, it was like... when you're sick, and our head is too foggy to think, except it was every bit of me. I couldn't be good at sports, or school, or anything, it felt like." Drawing his knees up a little bit, he crosses his arms loosely to rest them against his lap, and lays his head down against his knees so that he can look over at her. "It seemed like I was failing you, too." 

Right on cue, Nana jolts up, fueled by all the concern a mother is capable of. "You never failed me, Tsu-kun!" 

"It's how I felt," he replies simply, not disputing or arguing against her words. "Especially with how you seemed to react sometimes whenever I got bad grades. I mean, I kind of knew that a lot of other kids in my class called me a 'loser', or 'dumb', or anything else-" They weren't exactly subtle about it, the more upfront bullying aside. "-but it... stung a lot more when I felt like it was coming from you." 

For a brief second, one that twines through his heart like a taut string, he wonders if that startled stare of hers means she'll argue against it. If she'll argue how she was trying her best, or that he needed the pushing, or any of the many kinds of excuses that his own worried mind can create all on its own. Parents can think all sorts of things, after all. He's known that from being a teenager himself, let alone the kinds of things he's overheard from so many of his peers throughout school.

There's no outraged defense. No offended hurt. Nothing to put her in the right and him in the wrong. Instead... Even as he looks over at her, all the air leaks out of her in a steady stream and leads to her shoulders slumping. Following the gesture to earth are her eyes, focusing on the way her own fingers fiddle with one another. "I... was always worried about that sort of thing, back then," she admits, her smile weary and trying. 

This time, it's Tsuna's turn to blink. "You were?" 

A faint laugh flutters out from her. "Of course!" A little bit of that old fondness peeks through again in the way she smiles over at him, like she used to when he was a little kid and would say the most outrageous things. "You were my first and most precious son! I was so very excited about you being born..." Pressing her fingertips together, outstretched, she seems a little more recovered thinking about those years that Tsuna can't even try to remember. Years before he was even born, really. "It was the kind of family dream that I'd been hoping for... A nice two-story house in a comfortable suburb with a family that could slowly and comfortably grow... Me and your father and little happy you. It was easier when you were a baby- well." Pausing, she tilts her head to one side. "Relatively easy, I suppose." Mischief sparks in her eyes, and Tsuna doesn't even bother to escape her cheek pinching fingers. "You were such a noiiiiisy baby!" 

"Moooooom!" 

"It's truuuuee!" Laughing, she stretches out his cheeks a couple of times. "You would get so upset whenever I left you alone! I had to keep you in my sight all the time for a good long while. You wouldn't even quiet down for your father." 

Rubbing newly released cheeks, Tsuna gives his own best attempt at a smile. "Ha, I wonder why... "

All that brevity is nice, freeing... And it even seems to help Nana a little as she eases back into her seat. There's no getting rid of that bittersweet tint to her eyes. "I really felt that I was doing a good job then... But you kept getting bigger, and bigger, and it seemed like all the little problems I used to be able to solve for you had been... switched out, at some point. Everything started to get so complex..." 

Complex, huh... What can he say to that? To this experience he has yet to take on for himself? In the end, Tsuna says nothing. All he does is stretch his hand out to rest besides where hers is on the blanket. Her fragile smile says that she appreciates it. 

"Your father had left early on when you were young as well," she says. "It was only me left to figure things out, you know?"

Tsuna's first unkind thought is Of course he did. When he swallows it back down into the dark of his stomach where it belongs, another one takes his place. What about grandparents, proper ones on either side of the family? Considering the work he's involved in, Tsuna wouldn't necessarily be surprised if his paternal grandparents would be long dead by this point, but for his mom's side... Yet he doesn't dare to ask. Maybe he did once upon a time, when he was younger and had even less of an idea of how to keep his mouth shut like apparently all little kids, but he can't remember what answer he might have gotten. Ultimately, much like his father missing throughout most of his life, it hadn't seemed to affect him personally in his present... So he supposes he'd just ignored it. Was it really an absence when such things had never factored into his day-to-day to start with? 

Instead of saying anything like that, Tsuna asks something else. "Didn't anyone in the neighborhood help you...? I mean, it feels like you know everyone." 

At least that makes her laugh again. "That took a lot of hard work, you know!" She taps the tip of his nose. "We only got that house shortly before you were born. But I did know a few people by the time you came around." Her gaze is drawn back to Namimori, a lighthouse for the two of them where they sit, detached as a drifting boat, from the rest of the town. "I did ask them what to do..." Ah. He can guess what she's about to say even before she says it. "They kept saying I was being too gentle on you." Her cheeks puff out, still managing to find a little bit of indignant annoyance  that he suspects is only partially joking. "They said that's why he needed a man's touch instead!" 

"A man's touch, huh?" he echos, struggling to keep his voice from being too sarcastic. As someone who's had to deal firsthand with Sawada Iemitsu's attempts at playing 'Dad', he suspects it wouldn't have done much good. He'd struggled under the expectations of his mother, unsaid or otherwise. Dealing with his own father- willfully oblivious even at the best of times and who steamrolled over any issues with stereotypical "father-son bonding" activities- would have just been worse. If anything, he suspects he would have ended up with an early alcohol dependency, considering how he's seen his father interact with the kids before. Not that it's happened lately, with how Tsuna's stamped it out on the "once in a blue moon" occasions the man ever visits... 

He manages to keep his voice under control, because Nana doesn't pick up on it, judging by the way she barrels right on. "It was so frustrating, you're right!" Well, he didn't quite say that, but he can't disagree, either. Tsuna nods silently, encouraging her on. It's the most he's ever really gotten to speak with his mom in ages; why would he stop that? "But I thought they had a point... That maybe there was something I was missing, on my own, without someone else's perspective. It was only my first child. What did I know? So maybe I really was being too soft, hovering around you too much... Maybe you needed something a little sturdier." She takes in a deep breath, her chest swelling outward, and lets it out quietly. Unwittingly, Tsuna finds himself stopping his own until she's done. "I just had to be more strict, and things would turn out alright... Right? And yet no matter how much I kept trying, it didn't seem like things were changing how I wanted." In what of the moonlight illuminates them, he watches her fingers silently twist. No matter the darkness around them, he can still see that much. "I guess... that should have been my first clue that I was doing things wrong. Yet, looking back at how things were, I'm not sure what else I would have done... Mm, I hope that's not an excuse, Tsu-kun." 

"It's not." What can he say to that? Twisting his hand over, he curls his fingers over hers when she settles them there. "I mean... I know. It's hard, taking charge of things." Distantly, his mind pulls up various memories as he's stumbled through life, trying to play a game he barely knows the rules to with a hand of cards that might not have been the best. The fighting had been the easiest, when he looks back at everything. Sure, it had been difficult at the time- falling unconscious after his first fight with Mukuro, struggling up a bare cliffside day after day with only mittens, the constant beatings he took dealing with Byakuran, and everything after that... He hadn't been able to imagine anything more rough or terrifying. He'd learned how wrong he was on that front quick enough... Mukuro, Xanxus, the Millefiore, they'd all scared him to some degree to the point that he was terrified he'd lose his life or that of the people he cared about. Yet somehow it had hurt more when he'd lashed out, like at Haru and Lambo back at their base in the future, or had to clash with one of his own friends when Shimon emerged back into the public eye. How many times had he thought how unfair it was for him to be in such situations, how he had no idea what he was doing? "...I'm not saying you're bad, Mom. Or that you did a bad job or anything."

She looks at him, surprised again, before she laughs. "But Tsu-kun, weren't you the one who was scolding me like you were the papa instead?" 

Oh jeez- A flush blazes over his face. "Do you have to put it like that!" 

"Is that not what you were doing?" Nana laughs at him a little bit more before calming down with a faint sigh. "Besides... As a mother... It worries me when I see my own son looking so upset. The least I can do now... is cheer you up, hm?"

"Then isn't it the same on my end?" he counters easily, maybe going a little bit too hard when he's just talking to his mom and not some opposing mafia force. "Of course I don't want my own mom to be too upset just because I was selfishly airing out my own feelings!" 

"As a parent, it's my duty to make sure that my children can live so openly and comfortably, so I don't think there's any reason for you to apologize at all!" 

"That- Jeez! If you're going to say it like that, then isn't it only the duty of the eldest son of the house to look after everyone and not cause trouble for his parents!?"

"Now now, Tsu-kun, children are meant to bring trouble to the adults around them as they get older! Especially my cute little Tsu-kun who gets in scuffles with dogs-" 

"Hey, hey, don't call them scuffles when I'm the one running away from them all the time!!! And I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm going to be graduating high school soon!" 

"Well, you'll always be a child in my heart!" 

With those final words, his mom finally gives in, bursting out laughing and holding onto her stomach like she'll fall apart if she doesn't at least try. Flushed and feeling a little breathless, Tsuna sink his face into one hand. "How did we even get to this point?" he whispers to himself, exhausted and befuddled. Somehow, that only seems to make his mom laugh all the harder. 

Wiping the mirthful tears from her face, Nana reaches over to pat him on the head like he really is a little kid all over again. "You've always been so stubborn," she says, voice rough and fond from all her laughter. "You have to have gotten that from your father. But I wonder when you learned to be to thoughtful and caring and fussy over other people like this?"J

eez, what kind of reputation has he gotten as a teenager over the years? Or rather, what did he have? Not that Tsuna really has to think of it too hard. A weakling, a coward, selfish- they're all not the kindest things to think about his past self up until this point but he can't deny that his actions and personality weren't the best. He got picked on and didn't have any friends, and then certainly that just lead to a self-fulfilling spiral of him not having anyone that made him want to shape up in any way.  But having Hayato force his way into his life was the start of him needing to get better while dealing with all the absolute weirdos in his life... And maybe dealing with the trauma following and weighing on the Kokuyo guys made him a little more sympathetic. The Varia a better leader, the Millefiore more clever, the Shimon more responsible.... He could sit for ages thinking indepth of how his life has been changing him so much since some annoying toddler in a suit stepped into his house and started making outrageous demands. 

There's something else, however. 

"I mean... Didn't I learn it from you?"

Her hands pause where they're still cleaning up her face, but Tsuna doesn't understand what's so surprising about it. Not really. For all the things he felt that he had to get off of his chest tonight... His mom is still the same woman who's tirelessly worked so hard for so many years, making sure their home has stayed clean and that the food on the table was always well prepared. She's the same woman who didn't think twice in welcoming in stray children into the house, doting after them like she did when he was a little kid. Not even little kids, but teenagers like Bianchi used to be. He has no doubt that if any of them had asked, she would have been more than happy to welcome Hayato in as well, if he could only get over his reactions to his sister sooner. Sure, his father was the one technically supplying the money, but Tsuna is positive that, even without that, his mom would have done her best for as many people as she could have. 

...Ah. Suddenly feeling self conscious, he buries his face into his knees. She's... definitely the kind of person that Giotto would have liked, now that he thinks about it. 

To the side, he can hear some subtle sniffles, and attempts at taking in deep breaths that rattle despite the best efforts. Yet instead of saying anything, Nana suddenly barrels into him with her arms wrapped tight around his shoulders and head. "Oh, Tsu-kun!" 

"M-Mom!?"

"You sweetheart! No wonder you're so popular with girls and boys!" 

"Mom!" 





Even though it's quite late when the two of them return to TakeSushi, Tsuyoshi gladly welcomes her and her son inside at only a little bit of knocking. Unlike earlier, when the restaurant had been jam-packed with families and people fresh off work and even a few teenagers with some money to spare, it's completely swept out when she steps inside. Surely it can't have been that long since the Yamamotos closed things up and yet it's all so clean. Not completely, of course. There are some things that could be tidied up a little bit, a bit of sweeping at the entrance and underneath the tables, but the surfaces themselves have all been practically polished. Tsuyoshi couldn't have done it on his own... But it seems, just like her, he has a really fantastic son. 

A fantastic son who cares a lot about her fantastic son, and vice versa, so she's not surprised when Tsuna asks to go see Takeshi after he returns the bento boxes. As he disappears behind the curtains into the far back where all the storage and extra space is kept for the restaurant, Nana carefully sweeps her dress underneath her as she sits upfront at the bar. Tsuyoshi grins at her, still wiping down his workspace and making sure everything is in tip-top shape. For a sushi chef, hygiene and his blades are two of the most important things, almost above the quality of his fish. She knows even that much. "So! Sawada-san, enjoy your night out?" 

Pressing her fingers lightly up against her mouth, she giggles a little bit. "My, aren't you exaggerating it? It was just a pleasant little picnic my son organized for me. Of course, part of what made it so enjoyable was the excellent food that we were able to eat together!" 

His chest puffs out proudly, and he crosses his arms. "My pride as a chef wouldn't have allowed you to dine on anything else! Hell, my pride as a gentleman wouldn't allow anything else, at least for a charming lady like yourself, especially since your son paid up front." 

"Oh! He's grown up to be so responsible!" 

"Embarrassed is more like it." Tsuyoshi's laughter booms out of him with enough force to rattle the counter. That's certainly what it feels like to Nana, anyway. "I don't think he's ever forgotten that time when him and those friends of his tried to dine and dash! Troublemakers, ha ha." 

Squeezing her cheeks together with both hands, Nana sighs. "Oh, I'm so sorry that happened!"

Tsuyoshi waves his hand casually through the air. "Now, now, it's been years now! You and that boy really are related, with the way you two fuss over things that happened so long ago." With tender carefulness, he begins to move his knives to the side so that he can lean forward with his arms crossed. "Besides, kids get into trouble, don't they? Better to get it all out then when they're young like that, ha ha. He's grown, too, hasn't he? That's the proof of a fantastic mother behind him!" 

Another laugh leaves her, a little quieter, a little more delicate. "So much flattery, I wonder how much you were paid for that dinner." Yet she can't leave it there. Not quite. Letting her hands drop, she curls them into her dress and over one another as she leans forward slightly. "Tsuyoshi... Do you think it was really thanks to me that he's grown up as well as he has?"

His eyebrows raise up all the way to his headband. "Where has this come from?"

"Tonight..." Her hands ease up, fingers ghosting along her knuckles and up to her wrist. "Tonight I feel like I learned so much more about my son... but it felt like things I should have already known. Things that, if I were a truly good mother, I would have seen, and I could have handled them. He's grown up to be such a sweet boy, even when he complains about things like cleaning up his room still." Another laugh. She wishes it were a little more dry so that it could leave her throat easier instead of sticking back there. "It makes me wonder what other things I might be missing even now, with him, or with one of the other children. What if I hurt them because I'm not looking? What if they keep things hidden from me, and it gets worse?" There's no stopping the tears now, no matter how hard Nana does her best and tries. Unable to help herself, tears stinging her eyes, she guides her hand upwards so that she can press it against her mouth. Her gaze is stuck on the counter top, the cool glass separating customer from chef, and things are starting to become a blur of watercolors. Even with that hindering her, she can still see enough of Tsuyoshi's white shape go from around the counter, and soon enough she can feel his presence at her side. "I've tried my best, but what if... What if that isn't good enough to keep from hurting them?"

From the side, there's another white shape sliding into view, and it takes her a few blinks to clear enough tears from her eyes to tell that it's a napkin. Sniffling as quietly as she possibly can, Nana reaches down to accept it. While she dries her eyes, Tsuyoshi speaks. "Nana... You worry so much because your heart really is a tender thing." There's a quiet sound not entirely a creak as he comes to sit on the stool besides her. "But it's like worrying if you'll get rained on if you go outside on a cloudy day. That's life with other people- going out on a cloudy day when it might rain.  Sometimes, you go out with nothing, and are met with nothing. Same as when you put on a coat and expect the worst. Yet even when you get completely ready, even when you try your best to not get wet, rain will still seep through somehow. The same can be said of connecting with other people." His hand rests on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "Even when you understand, even when you try as much as a human possibly can, you'll still end up causing harm to someone, whether small or large. All one can do, Nana, is do as much as they can, and your son knows that. Why else do you think he would treat you like this, with a night alone and a good meal?"

He's right. She knows he's right. Yet that doesn't stop her tears from bubbling up, so sad and proud and tender. All she can do is sniffle, wiping her tears away with a napkin that's becoming far too wet to be of any use. After a few moments, she abruptly straightens up her spine and clenches her fists in front of her. "Alright! I've gotten it out of my system!"

Tsuyoshi laughs a little bit, partially at her and partially not. "So you only needed that much time, huh?"

"Of course!" Hastily, she uses what little is dry of the napkin to dab over her cheeks one more time, just in case. "I'm in public. I can't embarrass my family too much with this kind of thing." Once she'd done with the napkin, Tsuyoshi takes it on his way back behind the counter. 

"Well, you're lucky that it's so dark out," he teases her, "or else Tsuna-kun would definitely see how red your eyes are."

"It's not nice to tease a paying customer, Yamamoto-san."

"Ha ha, yes, yes." While she's huffing a little bit, he reaches over the top of the glass separating them to hand her a cup of water. "Then let me treat my dear paying customer so that I continue to be blessed by her patronage."

Even as she turns her head to the side in the most haughty way she can manage, Nana still isn't able to stop the smile from slipping onto her face. "We'll see about that, then." It's already a foregone conclusion. Of course she'll continue to come by this place. For as long as it stays open, and as along as she has people around her to enjoy the food with. 

Even as they leave, as children do. 

The conversation lowers back into something quiet and casual, suiting the peaceful emptiness of the restaurant. It only lasts a few minutes before there's the sound of rustling and footsteps, her son stepping out from the back. Takeshi is right behind him. "Sorry it took so long, Mom. Are you ready to go?"

"Oh, of course, Tsu-kun." Smiling, she places down her cup only to pause. Something seems just a little off... Sliding off of her seat, she starts to approach him with one hand raised. "Did you get something in your eyes? They look red"

Flushed pink with the kind of embarrassment she's come to expect from raising a teenage son, he reaches up to quickly flap his hands at hers. "Mom, no!"

Takeshi laughs a bit, slinging his arm over Tsuna's shoulders. "Sorry, Sawada-san! That would be my fault. We were messing around in the back while I was doing the dishes. Something got into his eyes."

Now that really does sound like a pair of rowdy boys, and Nana sighs fondly. "Oh, you two. You're going to be leaving high school soon, you know."

"But we haven't yet!" Takeshi chirps, grinning widely and making her laugh. Well, that's certainly fair enough, she supposes. It's fine if they're still young and carefree and silly while they have the chance. 

Behind her, still behind the counter, Tsuyoshi has mostly been silent, but he speaks up after all of this. "Takeshi!"

"Yeah, pops?"

"Have you finished doing your part in closing up for the night?"

"Yeah!"

"Then why don't you help escort Sawada-san home?" He nods his head towards her. "It's gotten pretty late, and you never know what kind of unsavory types are lurking around. I'm sure that Tsuna-kun over there is responsible and knows what he's doing, but it never hurts to be a little more careful."

This directive doesn't seem to disappoint Takeshi at all. If anything, from what Nana can tell, he even perks up excitedly. "Sure! I can do that no problem!" Hastily, he reaches back behind himself to undo where his apron is tied at his back. "Hold on, Tsuna, I just need to go get dressed really quickly, okay?"

While Tsuna gives him a thumbs up, Nana waves her hand. "Oh, there's no rush! Once it's gotten late enough, it doesn't matter if things get a little later, I think." She giggles into her hand while Takeshi laughs his own agreement. 

Despite her words, it only takes a minute or two for Takeshi to come hurrying down the stairs from the more domestic half of TakeSushi with a jacket quickly thrown over his arms and a bag for his bat slung across one shoulder. "I'm ready!" he announces cheerfully, grinning as he loops one arm over Tsuna's shoulders again. "I'll try to make it back quick, alright, dad?"

Tsuyoshi just waves him off with a smile. "Don't mess around too much!"

"I won't!"

If nothing else, she certainly feels safer on the way back home through the streets. They're dark, certainly, but Takeshi's presence seems to make them feel not as much so. In what's to be no time at all, they're back at her home, and he lowers his voice when he wishes both of them a good night. Following his example, both her and Tsuna do their best to open the door quietly, and he sneaks up the stairs to his room as well he can. Nana doesn't plan on turning in for the night so quickly. Instead, after shedding her coat and shoes by the front door, she does a quick look around the first floor. It's a little bit messy, but in a way she can't exactly be surprised at. Bianchi has grown to be a truly fine adult in the years since she's come to know her. Still, she's a young woman, not a mother or a regular babysitter. The rowdiness of children is something that can't really be prepared for until you've fully experienced it all on your own. Well, she can clean it up in the morning. For right now, it's far too late in the night to deal with it. 

Restless even with that argument in her head, she wanders into the kitchen to flick the light on and stands there for a moment with a glass of water as she stares out into their yard. So lost in thought, she doesn't even notice when Reborn steps in until he speaks up. "Doing alright, Maman?"

She jolts a little bit, simply from surprise, before she manages to summon up a smile in his direction. It's not likely to trick him, but this time she can say that it's more from her own choice instead of having tried and failed. "Oh, Reborn! Yes, I'm doing quite fine. Shouldn't you be in bed? It really is quite late."

"I could say the same for you," he replies, hopping up onto one of the chairs at the dining table. "How was dinner with that son of yours?"

"Oh, it was quite nice." Her smile can be a lot more honest when she says that. "He really did pick out the perfect things to eat while we enjoyed the night air." Then, she trails off. Like Lambo and Ipin, Reborn is still very young, technically speaking. She knows that's quite the thing to say when she's the one who hired him so long ago to tutor her own son, but... Well, the world can be quite the strange place, full of surprises. She's come to find that he's a lot wiser than he appears, both in scholarly studies which have helped her son out so much, and in matters of life. So she's not as held back as she would be with any of the other children when she finally convinces herself to speak up, still staring out into the yard. "I've had a lot to think about tonight, really." Her thumb rubs quietly along the glass. "If I'm honest, I'll probably be thinking about it for a while from now."

"You'll be thinking about what?"

There's so much she could say to that, where should she even start? After a moment, Nana figures that it should be with the most important part. "Thinking about... how to be better, I suppose. I mean, well... There are still a few years to it yet, but, soon, why, you and the other children will be going into middle school, won't you? Just like Tsuna did all those years ago when I first hired you. Back then, I blinked and suddenly he was a young man putting on his uniform for Namimori Middle. I thought I was going to get whiplash." She sighs a little, nostalgic and frustrated all at once. "It makes me wonder how things would have turned out if I didn't find just the right tutor for him. When all of you get to that age, well-" A laugh leaves her. "I can't just find another Reborn!"

A coy sort of grin, one she's seen many times before on that childish face, creeps into view. "I'm one of a kind, it's true. There's no one better than me."

She wonders. Well, wondering can happen another time. Here in the present, she sets her cup back down onto the table. "It just made me think that I'll have to do a lot more on my own," she says. "I'm the one raising everyone here, in the end. I can't rely on Iemitsu, when he's never here, and I can't put everything on you when you're growing up as well." Taking in a long slow breath, she lets it leave her about as slowly. "So I'll have to be better. Tsuna told me a lot of things, but I think that was merely him wanting to be honest with me after so long of, well. Of keeping to himself like he used to so much back in middle school. I know I've made a lot of mistakes, but that's because I was a first time mother. I can accept that. But now that it's been so long, and there are all of you children here..." She smiles, only a little bit. "I think I'm enough of an adult to do better. What's the point in growing up otherwise?"

Reborn hums. "It's something that never stops," he agrees. "But you know, that is why you're such a good mother. If nothing else, it's why you've raised a good son."

Turning away from the window, her face splits into a beaming smile. 

"Then I'll be sure to blow it out of the park with everyone else."







Tsuna is already face down on his bed by the time Reborn returns to the room, one foot dangling off of the mattress. It's not the neater pajama clad appearance he used to have a few years ago, when he was still a boy adjusting to the news of being a mafia heir, but that's probably good for him. Once he becomes the head of the Vongola proper, he'll probably have a lot of nights like this. Yet face down in his pillow doesn't mean he's asleep just yet, and Reborn lightly kicks him in his dangling calf. Sure enough, there's a muffled groan before he shifts his head so that one groggy eye can peer out past his mess of hair. Tired as it is, more from emotion than doing anything frankly, he doesn't even bother to ask a proper question. 

Well, for tonight, that's fine. Reborn flicks the brim of his hat up a little further, and smiles. "You did good, Tsuna."