Dimivain Week: Day 2 - only one bed

[warmskies]

 Sylvain is fairly sure he's fucked up, here.

Honestly, it was probably stupid of him from the very start - getting Dimitri involved in that stupid bet with Lorenz, turning on his charm as high as it could go, making such careful plans for their fake date. He should have known how it would end up. He's known Dimitri since he was just a little kid, trailing after Sylvain along with Felix and Ingrid. They stopped talking a little bit after the Tragedy, with Dimitri recovering from the ordeal and Sylvain's parents focusing in on him even more harshly so that he'd be a proper heir, but that doesn't mean much at all. Sylvain still knows him, almost better than anyone.

(Well, maybe not exactly - Felix and Dedue would probably have things to say on that, although in two very different ways.)

Dimitri is an upright sort of guy, the type who tries so hard to be as good as everyone really wants him to be. Sylvain gave up on doing that kind of thing a long time ago, so that's why he can see it so clearly in Dimitri... But Dimitri goes through with it because, unlike Sylvain, he really is a good person, no matter what anyone else says. And for that kind of person... Of course he's a helpless romantic.

In the face of someone like Sylvain, who knows how to pour out pleasantries like a fountain and put on a fake face that's tricked tons of people before... Dammit.

"You've really messed things up this time, idiot," he mutters to the ceiling of his room as he lays there, some of his books and work for classes strewn across the end of it. He'll clean it all up before he goes to bed, but he just can't be bothered right now. He's still thinking of the date he took Dimitri out on the other day.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should have just finished things at the restaurant, and he's sure Dimitri wouldn't have gotten such stupid ideas. He would have snapped out of it, that dumb charm trap Sylvain had laid when he'd fake-flirted with him. But no, he had to make it something special. How could he do anything less? He couldn't just treat Dimitri like the countless other women he hadn't loved in the past. Couldn't just leave even the chance of him feeling like trash that had gone along with some stupid bet.

He'd wanted to see Dimitri smile for once in his life. For once ever since the Tragedy wrapped him up, and made him feel like sometimes he was somewhere else entirely.

"That's your problem," he mutters to himself, dragging his hands down his face. "You get too sappy about the people close to you." Yet it's not something that he can really regret. Whether it's dragging Ingrid out of her own head by playing the fool, or making sure that Felix never is alone from his own lashing out, or wanting to give Dimitri one little bit of happiness after everything that's happened to him... He just wants to protect them.

Saints know that he was never given that same kind of consideration was never given to him.

And yet here he is, having unwittingly toyed with Dimitri's heart - although can he really say it was so unwittingly? He thought it would be enough to tell Dimitri that it was a part of the bet, that it was just something to make Lorenz's stupid face squint up in outrage at having been beaten by some male floozy. Still, he'd flirted just like he would have with any other girl. He'd thought carefully on the kind of date Dimitri would really like.

So of course Dimitri had asked to go on a date again, had smiled at him like there was something worth smiling about in the world. How in the damned flames is Sylvain going to break his heart?

Because it's basically inevitable at this point. He's going to have to. At the time, he'd managed to play it off, twist the conversation away from the idea of another date... But the damage is already done. He knows it. So how is he going to fix it? That's the question of a lifetime, right there. Way more important than whatever reading Hanneman wanted out of him.

Unfortunately, Sylvain doesn't get very far into that line of thinking. He's just finished crossing one plot off the mental list - faking his own death and disappearing under mysterious circumstances would only make Dimitri search the ends of the earth for him - when there's a knock on his door.

It probably says a lot on how much he was trapped in his own skull that he didn't even notice someone approaching his door, although Sylvain guesses that he doesn't really need to worry about that kind of thing in a place like Garreg Mach. Not like when he was a kid in Gautier, and... Well, it doesn't matter. Probably if he tried to keep track of every set of footsteps that passed by his door in a dorm hallway, he'd lose it. "I'm coming!" he calls, pushing himself up from where he'd been steadily smothering his own face in his pillow.

Speak of bears, and you inevitably have bears on your front doorstep. Only in this case, it's the blond prince he was thinking of, standing right there in front of his room, hands folded politely behind his back. "Ah, good evening, Sylvain," Dimitri says sheepishly, bowing his head in polite greeting. "I apologize - I must have interrupted you."

Sylvain is pretty sure he would rather choke on his own tongue than admit to Dimitri that he was thinking and planning on how to break up with him before it had a chance to go anywhere serious. He'd just straight up die before say that was what Dimitri interrupted. So instead he grins, and gives one of those relaxed shrugs he's so known for. "Oh, I was just relaxing on my bed, lazily spending away the rest of my evening," he says. Even if it's a lie, the result was turning out to be pretty much the same. No need to worry about it. "What brings you here this late at night?"

"Well... I was hoping to ask a favor of you," Dimitri says, looking awkward about it before he's even gone into detail. "To get to the very end of the explanation... May I stay in your room for a night or two?"

Is this because he doesn't pray enough over in the chapel? That he skips out on choir practice if Byleth doesn't ask it of him? The Goddess has to be pissed at him for something, for this sort of thing to happen right as he's thinking about how to cut it off entirely. Sylvain blinks for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond. "Well!" he says, brain running on seriously ingrained habit. "Normally this isn't how people fall into my bed, you know."

Hm. Actually, maybe he should just choke on his own tongue now. Bite it off so that he never says another stupid thing again. It would probably be a favor to himself at this point.

The only thing Sylvain can do is keep talking, while Dimitri goes redder than a tomato with his mouth agape. Fill in the silence and tug Dimitri's brain away from what nonsense just poured out of his mouth. "I'm just joking, of course," he says, waving a hand through the air as he mimics casualness by leaning against his doorframe. "And I wouldn't do that after just one date anyway." Actually, why is he still talking again? Why is that important for Dimitri to know? "The real thing that I want to know is why you need to use my room tonight anyway?"

At least that seems to snap Dimitri out of it, and he shakes his head slightly. "Oh, that... Well, it is a silly matter, honestly. An incident happened in a fellow classmate's room, leaving it... temporarily uninhabitable for the time being." Oh boy. Sylvain turns in early for one night and misses all the drama and nonsense, apparently. "I thought it would be a shame if he was left out to be in the cold, so I offered to allow him use of my room."

"Is that really fine?" Sylvain asks, frowning a little bit. "I know that everyone is supposed to act like just another student here in Garreg Mach, but that's not really the reality." And everyone knows it, honestly. "We don't know what kind of thing someone could get up to you in your room..."

"On that matter, you do not need to worry," Dimitri assures him, and he smiles again, shoulders relaxing. "I do have some consideration for my own position, Sylvain, so I simply moved my things over into Dedue's room, packed away neatly so that they would not get in his way while he does his own business. That way, I know that none of my own things will have been tampered with. Any furniture can be searched, not that there is very much that one could hide in a mostly empty room."

Honestly, that all really does seem to check out. Dimitri is the kind of guy who'd take the clothes off of his back if it mean helping another person maintain their dignity, or be sheltered from the cold. Offering up his room is just one more version of that.

And Sylvain supposes he has to admit that there's not much reason to think that anything would really be behind someone taking Dimitri up on his offer. One of the nice things (depending on who you ask) about Garreg Mach is that every single room seems just about the same, although who knows? Rhea's might be pretty fancy, considering she's at the head of it all. There's nothing in Dimitri's bare bones room that is any better than any of the other places in the dorms. Without his things there, they can't be stolen.

Now that only leaves one more question. "You've already moved all of your things to Dedue's room," Sylvain points out, flicking a finger in Dimitri's direction. "Why not just stay there for the night or two that you need for this other guy's room to get resolved?"

Dimitri is already shaking his head before Sylvain can even finish speaking. "I would never dare," Dimitri stresses, before a sigh slips out of him. "With Dedue... He already gets so little time to himself, it feels. He would never complain of it... For various reasons." Dimitri's lips thin, just a bit, and Sylvain can understand all the things he doesn't say. Not only is it not in Dedue's nature to complain of being with Dimitri - the person he genuinely cares for, when he is so taciturn - but it would look bad on him as well as a vassal of the crown prince. People talk about him plenty enough as it is. Not wanting the honor of hosting his crown prince would just make things worse. "But I do not want to impose on him if I can avoid it."

"And the nearest other rooms are Claude and Felix," Sylvain murmurs, mostly to himself than Dimitri. Claude isn't really a bad guy at all; Sylvain knows because they have regular chess matches together. But he is a pretty nosy guy, so who knows if Dimitri would even be able to get a lick of sleep. That's not even talking about the poisons that could be in his room...

And Felix? Well, Sylvain doesn't even want to think of what would happen if Dimitri had even tried to ask him.

Of course, they aren't the only options that Dimitri could choose if he really went looking. Ashe is another person they're all close to in the Blue Lions house, so Dimitri could ask him. There are also tons of other students attending here, who he could potentially ask.

But Ashe is another person that Dimitri would feel like he's imposing on, and the other students in the Blue Lion house aren't people Dimitri is as close to as the rest of them. 

Much like Dimitri was the safest bet for him when he needed a partner for his prank on Lorenz, Sylvain is arguably the safest bet for Dimitri in a situation like this. That's probably almost something like poetry, or maybe more like irony. Sylvain isn't sure which yet.

Either way, that means he would look like the lowest of trash if he just turned Dimitri away in a moment like this. Sylvain is fine with looking like trash, honestly. He wouldn't have lasted this long, from Gautier to Garreg Mach, if he were concerned with a minor thing like that. It's the feeling of being the kind of trash who turns away a dear friend that would gut him. So even though he can already tell he's going to regret this within the next two minutes, Sylvain steps aside and opens his door wide. "Alright, lets get you in before the rumor mill picks up again," Sylvain laughs, even as, in the back of his head, he's thinking shit, that's another thing he'd have to handle when he'd break up with Dimitri. How is he going to handle the rumor mill?

That is a problem for future Sylvain. Present Sylvain has his own problems to deal with before he has to bother dealing whatever nonsense comes knocking at his future self's door.

At least Past Sylvain did right by Present Sylvain. His room isn't in too bad of a state as Dimitri steps inside with a travel pack, Sylvain closing the door behind him. While there may be a little bit of mess here and there, like the books at the foot of his bed, or a coat he draped carelessly against the drawers, the floors are at least clean and his desk is actually organized. Actually, he regrets the organized desk. It makes him look decent.

While Sylvain ponders sweeping his arms across his desk to knock everything off into a mess, to save his ruined reputation, Dimitri looks around politely. "It is nicely kept," he says, in that polite tone where he's just trying to fill the dead air. Sylvain is more than little familiar with it. "You do not keep a weapon in here?"

Of course Dimitri would ask about a weapon. What kind of small talk is this? Faerghan small talk at its finest. "What, and scare away whoever walks into my bedroom?" he asks with a wink. "Of course.... I don't keep it in plain sight." His lance is actually underneath his bed, blade kept away from where the light might reflect on it. A lance isn't good for close combat, so if someone really wanted to start something unpleasant like that in his bedroom, well, it wouldn't do him much good. Still, if an emergency happens and he needs to go out running, well, it's right there in easy reach.

Sylvain hates that he has to do that... But there are too many important things here in Garreg Mach, more important than the church itself. Too many important people.

At least it seems to reassure Dimitri, and he smiles. "I see. That is very much like you," he says, which makes his heart jerk a little bit in concern. He's not giving anything away, right? The last thing he needs is Dimitri thinking better of him. Besides everything else... It would just make it harder for him to make Dimitri lose interest in him. "At any rate, did you have anything else you planned on doing for the rest of the night? I could step out for a short while so that you could have the room you need."

Did he have anything else really planned for the night? Sylvain can't really say he does, which is honestly a change from his usual schedule. More than anything else, he hates being alone in his room most of the time, haunted by his own thoughts. Whether it's chatting with Mercedes, trying to drop helpful hints to Annette on magic, or bothering Felix only to inevitably get dragged out to training... Anything is better.

It's just that his dilemma with Dimitri had taken up so much of his brain's processing ability that he'd not wanted to distract himself with anything else. So, well, there's only one answer he can really give. "Don't worry about it," he promises. "I didn't have anything really big to do tonight, after I finished up dinner. Actually, hold on..." Moving around Dimitri, he picks up one of the books that lays on his bed. What is it again? Something about advanced fire magic, he thinks... "Let me clean this up first."

"Oh, you do not need to bother," Dimitri says hastily, no doubt being a decent guest on the whole thing. Kind of rude to just walk into someone's place and start tearing into their living habits. At least when you're the one asking a favor. "It is in nice enough of a state. Besides, I will hardly need much. I am only resting here; I will get out of your way promptly come morning."

Sylvain has plenty of girls in his room who 'got out of his way promptly come morning'. If it's Dimitri, he doesn't think he'd mind too hard if he stayed a little while longer.

....Wait, no, shit, that's the opposite of what he should be thinking. Even if it's true. Sylvain distracts himself from his own traitorous brain by just stacking the books up so that they're at least good to go. "Listen, it's fine," Sylvain says casually over his shoulder. "Besides, I can't let the future king of Faerghus sleep on a book-covered bed, can I? I can take a lot of shots to my reputation, but I don't think I'd survive that one!"

It's just a silly little statement, one he hopes that Dimitri would laugh at. Instead, he earns a blank stare instead. "What?" Dimitri says. "Sylvain, I will not take your bed."

"What?" Sylvain echoes back, and this time it's his turn for a blank stare. Is it because of the possibility of sex juices all over the covers? It's crude, but that's the first thing that comes to his mind on just what the problem could be. Of course, just saying that to Dimitri, or explaining how he always uses a cover for his dick because he has no interest in having some pregnant woman try to put one on him... Well, it's not something he'd want them to go to bed on. If Dimitri wants to say it, Sylvain will let him, but not him. "Why not?"

Fortunately, it doesn't seem as though Dimitri is thinking of those kind of matters. "It is your bed," Dimitri stresses, shaking his head. "How on earth could I take it! I will simply sleep on the floor. I even brought my sleeping pack, for when we are on the road."

"Okay, uh, wow, that's even worse than you sleeping on a bed of books," Sylvain says disbelievingly, although of course Dimitri would pull this kind of thing. Things can never be simple and easy with him, although maybe that's one of the things Sylvain likes about him in the end. He's old-fashioned, stiff, and really needs to take a break, find some bit of happiness... But he's such a good person that Sylvain can hardly hold anything against him. He just wishes he wasn't a good person to this extent. "Seriously, Dimitri. You can just take my bed. You're crown prince, you probably deserve to sleep on a bed." 

And also... Sylvain wants to do this much for him. Wants to take care of him still, even if he knows that Dimitri has grown up this much from when they were young and he was just a little kid. Sylvain wonders if that little kid in him has really disappeared, because sometimes when he sees the look on his face...

Usually that look isn't a pout, granted, but it's what's on Dimitri's face right now. "Even if I am a crown prince, the entire world is not mine," he stresses. "All of Faerghus is not even mine! Your bed is still your bed. I cannot just take it."

"You're not taking it, Dimitri. You're just borrowing it for a night or two. Seriously, just let me use your sleeping pack, I'll be fine on the floor."

"Absolutely not. I am the one imposing on you as it is. I will not force you to the floor."

"And I'm not letting you on the floor, so what do you want to do, share a bed!?"

They end up sharing a bed.

It's kind of amazing, Sylvain marvels, just what kind of situations a really stupid argument can lead a person into. Right now, his situation in particular is laying on his bed with Dimitri's feet right next to his face. Not bare feet, of course, there's a blanket for reach of them because they can do that much, but, well. It's not a situation he's ever been in before. Not exactly.

Usually it's face to face, these days. Honestly a downgrade from when they were all kids, and he could hold Dimitri close while he drifted off into a nap from an afternoon of play. It had felt sort of nice, back then. He kind of wishes he could go back to those days, even with the regular worry of constant murder attempts.

"I apologize," Dimitri says, voice coming in from the head of the bed - Sylvain managed to convince him into having that, at least, even if he's the one on the inside of it. "I thought this would somehow fit together more... neatly."

Sylvain snorts a little bit. "It always looks better in your head, right?" He shrugs, shifting as best he can in the position he's in. It's not easy, but it's fine. He's honestly slept in far worse conditions. That's the sort of thing one gets used to when they're expected to go out on the road constantly, and setting up camp on hard and rocky earth. "Anyway, don't worry about it. What I'm more impressed by is that we managed to fit on the same bed together. You're a surprisingly broad guy, now that you're all grown up, Mitya."

This close, he can feel all too easily how Dimitri jolts a little bit. "I will move a little further away so that you have more room," Dimitri says.

"You really don't need to do that-" There's a thud.

Sylvain barely has a moment to wheeze in a breath and press his face into his pillow before the laughter bursts out of him, sending his whole body into an absolute shaking fit. He can barely hear Dimitri's response, if he has one, or if he's even getting up at all. There's just his own laughter, and then a wheezed out coughing fit as he desperately tries to regain more air. "Cichol's balls," he chokes out, tears streaming down his face. "Dimitri-" Another dying laugh leaves him, and he has to hide his face in the pillow a little more. His next words come out muffled. "Dimitri, are you okay?"

With his laughter slowly - slowly - quieting, he can hear Dimitri grunting and his blankets shifting from on the floor. "I am fine, although one would doubt your concern with a reaction like that," he says grumpily, and Sylvain feels his hand pressing down on the mattress again. "You did not have to laugh that hard!"

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Pushing himself up as well, Sylvain wipes the tears away from his face. Ah, that's a good sensation. There's nothing better than going to sleep after a good laugh, he thinks. "Listen, this sort of thing isn't any less awkward than the alternative. Let's just sleep together on the bed normally. That way, we won't have to worry about our feet in each other's faces, alright? It will be better that way."

"Are you sure that will be all right?"

Sylvain isn't, actually, but he's pretty sure this is the only way that the two of them are going to be able to get a decent night's sleep. Otherwise, Dimitri will fall off the bed, or Sylvain will get squished against the wall, or either one of them will accidentally kick the other in the face in their sleep. It may bee a little awkward to sleep face to face, but either option would be, so they'll just have to deal with it.

That's what he tells himself, anyway, even as he grins down at Dimitri and tells him, "Why wouldn't it be? We used to do the same thing when we were kids, right?"

In the gloom, Dimitri nods, but - he doesn't seem convinced. Sylvain can tell in the way he stays silent, how his movement is slow even as he gets up to his feet to get back into the bed. Properly, this time, with their pillows side by side. It's a feeling that Sylvain should be familiar with, and yet the difference of it being Dimitri changes everything completely.

He wasn't lying when he said that Dimitri really had grown up broadly from since when they were children. As the two of them settle into bed together, Sylvain can't stop reflecting on it as their shoulders press against each other. When he was little, he used to think that him being so much bigger than the others - in age and build alike - had meant that he was destined to protect them. In hindsight, that was probably just the flawed perception of a kid. He's only a couple of years older than all of them, after all.

Yet after all this time, Dimitri is now just as broad shouldered as he is. Maybe a little moreso there and in the muscle department, with how studiously he trains every single morning, day, and night. Sylvain trains, of course, but only because he wants to be good enough to protect them. It's not on the same level at all, he feels.

With all the laughter having long since faded away, and nothing but distant insect sounds and owls right outside of the window... The silence smothers them gently, leaving him feel as though he's being sat on by some sort of demon. He doesn't know how long it is until Dimitri speaks up again, voice soft as he speaks up at the ceiling. "Is this truly all right, Sylvain?"

"I said it was alright, so it's alright."

"...I was serious about what I said the other day. That I would like to take you out on dates more." In his chest, Sylvain feels his heart stop and go cold, like a block of frozen ice. He was trying to prepare for this all night; how could he have known that he had this little time to come up with a solution? "In light of that... Is it really proper for the two of us to share a bed, even if it is just for a simple matter such as this?"

He really, really thought he would have at least a little more time than this... Even if it had just been a day more. A night more, even, letting him handle this in the morning. Sylvain sighs towards the wall, wishing he knew how to buy himself more time here. "Dimitri," he says, and he almost feel as if he's just saying his name to fill the silence that threatens to drag the two of them down. "You really deserve the best in life, you know that? I'm not saying that because you're the crown prince or anything... I'm saying that because it's you. And, listen, I'm going to be honest..." Far too much experience lets him laugh, the casualness of the sound hiding its fakeness. "You deserve way more than dating some guy who just came to you to help him win some stupid little bet."

Sylvain feels Dimitri deserves a knight on shining armor, if he's really going to be committed to a guy, committed to dealing with all the stupid noble nonsense that would come with it. The kind of guy who gifts him flowers in sincerity, who would go riding with him just to make him smile, who'd care about his feelings above all else...

That's what Dimitri should have. Not a dumb guy like him, who charmed him by accident and made him think he was something he's not.

"Do you really think that is all you are, Sylvain?" Dimitri asks, and he can feel the way the pillow shifts against his own, Dimitri's breath hitting his hair as he turns his head. "Do you not think you are someone more than that to me? Even before I thought that it would be nice for us to go on dates again? You are not only a man who got me involved with a silly bet to be won over Lorenz Gloucester. You are the same person who sheltered me when I got involved in something foolish, and helped clear it up for me despite the fact that you never needed to. You are the same person who made the date a proper one, who took my own prefers and considerations in mind. And more than once on the battlefield have you dashed in on horseback, cutting through people who would do me harm. You are that same person, you know - loyal, and brilliant, and true. I know it."

When you're the kind of person who's raised up to lead a country in the future, they really don't spare on the effort into teaching you the most charming and prettiest words, do they? Although... Sylvain has to admit that it honestly and very likely has nothing to do with any of the lessons that Dimitri went through before he was sent to Garreg Mach.

Dimitri was always like this, with the first seeds of it sprouting when he was young and telling Sylvain he would wait for him like the sunrise.

...Then again, he read that in a cheesy romance fairytale book and said it to all three of them - himself, Felix, and Ingrid - causing the late King Lambert to choke on his own air supply, so, you know. Sylvain hadn't taken it seriously, honestly.

Certainly he didn't take it as seriously as he does what's happening now, and Sylvain whistles out another breath. "Listen...." What can he say? "If it's just one date, that's enough of a silly little schoolyard scandal, but it would fade soon enough and no one would ever really bother you about it if we parted ways, and amicably, too. You know, romantically." It's not like he's going to waste his school year and just leave Garreg Mach suddenly. There's way too much to be concerned about here; he can't leave them all on their own. "But if you try and stick with me for even just a second date... You know me, the school playboy-" The kindest way he can refer to himself. "-then you'd have to deal with a political nightmare. It's better for you if you just cut it off here."

Besides... He's pretty sure he can't even do a genuine relationship. Not someone like him, where every option he's ever had in his life has just been political motives dressed up in fake romance. One day, inevitably, he'll break Dimitri's heart. Isn't it for the better if he cuts things off cleanly here before they can have a chance to get even worse?

He can hear the way that Dimitri's fingers curl into the sheets, shifting them across their bodies as they lay there side by side in bed. "...Is that what you really want, Sylvain?" Dimitri asks. "Do you, personally, want no relationship with me? If that is so, then, come morning, I will drop the matter. completely and utterly. But... To me, it sounds as though you have been speaking of everything but yourself."

Sometimes, Dimitri is kind of oblivious. It's not really his fault; the guy is an honest and straightforward type. And yet at other times, it's like he can see straight through a person when they're trying to brush things off. Sylvain wishes that side of him hadn't activated tonight.

"Listen... It's late," Sylvain says, which is probably true. "Why don't we save the rest of this talk for the morning?" He doesn't think he can bear it, honestly, if he has to sit here right by Dimitri's too-warm body, and think about what his future would really be like if he let himself keep dating him. Even if just for a little while. It'll kill him, he thinks, and he's already dying as it is.

"I.... Of course. I apologize, Sylvain. I wasn't thinking. Then... Good night." With that, Dimitri falls silent. Presumably, he falls into sleep soon after.

Sylvain's journey to that same destination takes a little longer, and, all the while, he can only think on if he'd actually be fine with another date with his too-sincere prince. He's not sure how he feels about the answers his half-awake mind provides him.